My family..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lorax, Mar 29, 2014.

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  1. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    My family is falling apart. My mother is suicidal (but won't mention it directly) she's basically unable to cope, plus has fibromyalgia, hence the fistful of pills.

    My brother basically pretends we don't exist. He's nice when we hang out once every few new-moons. Honestly, his absence makes him the most tolerable of the lot. Even if it's like he's a stranger.

    The biggest reason i got brought here is my sister. We were amazingly close once upon a time. She got married, and became a new person. Now i'm 99% sure she's cheating. She goes 'shopping' or 'working out' in the middle of the night, for hours at a time. She doesn't respond while she's 'out' any more.

    Her husband is someone i have mutual disdain for, but now he seems to have spread it to her. (I wonder why!) she is ALWAYS with this certain "work friend" he's with her in the dead of night for "no" reason. Tonight she spent like 5 hours at the "store" then showed up in the AM with the guy 'she was lonely' Then they straight kissed (on the cheek as near as i can tell) but it was very passionate none the less. Besides it's never something you would do with 'a mutual work friend' or being in a pesky thing called "marriage" plus he lives like 5 mins away. (There is no cultural misunderstanding about this, neither of them is from such a culture)

    I don't know. They have kids, so i can't just straight tell her husband. I can't tell my other family, they would instantly turn on me (i'm the lowest ranking in our clan) if i told them, they'd tell her, and it would be the last time i saw her, but nothing would change. I can't ask her what the hell she's doing, she's acting like a completely different person since i first met this guy. (Even more drastically lately) i can't just ignore it, i'll loose all the progress i made on my mood. Honestly, if it keeps up.. I will refuse to acknowledge her as family. It's already hard. It's all i can think of. I'm planning to either die, or move & cut my family ties off. It's all i can do for *me*

    Last part, her & her husband refuse to have my company anymore. I show up for 2 days, and every time i see them, i get 'when are you going' it'd be one thing if i came often, or otherwise made any sign i was around. I clean, offer to cook, offer food when i have $. They refuse to let me go here at all, unless my other family tells them too. But they still like my help watching their kid for days at a time. (Not at their house of course) Even when i'm here, they just make me super un-comftorable, and push me out. I have no idea.. Do i tell my other family what i notice? Do i ignore it? Do i just cut my bonds to them? This is going to cost my life, but i don't think that's fair if it's their problems.
  2. Liquid Jello

    Liquid Jello Well-Known Member

    wow, Lorax. what a complicated mix of difficult things going on for you. unfortunately, some situations are so messed up that there's not a lot one can do about it, perhaps other than focusing on taking care of oneself. regarding my own family members, I found that the best (and healthiest) thing I could do for myself was to minimize my contact with them. they really weren't interested in improving themselves or seriously taking steps to get things going in a positive direction. and again, for me, I found it to definitely be the case regarding family contact, where "less" was "more." hope you can find some way to deal with things as best as possible. and especially hope you find a way to make things better for yourself.


  3. Lorax

    Lorax Well-Known Member

    Just an update.
    My sister has 'separated' from her husband. He moved out, i don't think he's moving back honestly. She basically disowned me, because i dared to mention the guy she's with at odd hours of the night... Every night. She's been blatenly lying to our whole family right to our faces, i'm done with her. My other family is being affected too. If i can't get away from them soon, my life is as good as over. Kind of split how to handle it.
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