There seems to be running depression in my family leading back asfar as i can find. My grandfather commited suicide before i was born and i actually had NO thought of that before entering these forums is this just coincidence? My mother has had several breakdowns in the past and now she is married and has more kids she seems more stable than ever but the memorys of my childhood still haunt me. There not terrible memorys nothing like that just sad thoughts and the fact that i feel my mothers pain even though i know nothing of it. let me explain a few things about my mother and her past. Father commits suicide (Aged 15) Mother enters mental insitution (Aged 18) Brother turns drug addict (Aged 19) Gives birth (Aged 19) meee! :biggrin: Lives life (during the next 10 years i know nothing of what happened) We went away a few years back when i was around 12 my mother went out and didn't return till the middle of the night in tears after having been raped. Surley no God can exist shes one of the kindest women in the world and surley should be allowed to have moments of rage after all of this? HOW CAN A PERSON DEAL WITH THIS?! i have the umost respect for her even though she doesn't know this. 3 years ago my mother lost my sister she had to give birth even though she'd moved on, a year to the same date we now have an adopted cousin (who we have had since she was 1 week old) and call our own. I have so many loved ones around me but its as though i can feel there emotion i have good times & bad times but its all just mind never physical or body related. No tears No cuts just mental stress. I dont know all of my mothers past and to be quite honest i'd never want to ask her due to the feelings it might let out so all of my knowledge is rather vague. Thanks for reading and sorry for my gramma but it is late. I also found out my father has real bad debt last week i dont live with him but see him quite often a guy i've always looked upto and now i just feel sorry for him.