My father is kidding....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jjjoooggg2, Jun 23, 2009.

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  1. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    All my life my father has told me not to do things, major in business, engineering.

    And now he is saying I have to have a job to move out. That is why I can't move out, because he doesn't want me to be an engineer or teacher. I have my physics degree and 39 years old.

    He always says I need to get married. But he does not want me to move out or give me a day off. I'm stuck in a crap town.

    He wants me to see all my dreams pass by til I'm 60 and then tell me that I should have done things. I should just kill myself before he laughs at me.

    After seeing my brother and sister commit suicide. I think his conscious is not that strong. He will get over my suicide in a couple months. And say stupid kid. My mother will have enough money. Maybe, my mother will take it harder. But definitely not my father. He's trained himself to be an a hole.
  2. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    I've been wanting to move since I was 20. I think that I'll need to pray. This will sound silly. But I haven't prayed for a long time till I saw Spencer and Heidi praying.
  3. WillST

    WillST Active Member

    If you are 39 years old I think it is about time you stopped letting your dad telling you what you can and can't do.

    If you want to move out, then move out.
  4. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    He exploded when I told him my ideas. Literally, yellin in the restaurant. And he's 77, so he puts me on guilt trip that I have to take care of him.

    Maybe, it is that simple. He goes in periods of everyday complaining how old and hard his life is. Everything is about him.

    My mother hasn't been supportive of my independence either. She told me to live with her forever and no wife. I think they treat me like a cloned human subserviant servant.

    I can't move away without my parents blessing or approval. It's either me living with my parents for the next 20 years or suicide.

    Every time someone moves out of the house, it breaks the family up. He disowned my sister.

    I will stay till I'm 40 and see what he says.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2009
  5. Mortem

    Mortem Well-Known Member

    Yess I recognize this very much. Dunno where to start really, as with many other things I've been thinking about it so much I can't put words on my thoughts anymore. That kind of poisonous personality, my grandmothers and my uncle are the same. The hypocrisy, the way they preach about how one shouldn't do this and that... then yell at one for not doing it. All the rage bursts and the guilt tripping. The way they've taken my life decisions for me by pressuring. I've taken so much verbal abuse it's beyond any repair, and completely surrendered to being just that subservient servant or worker droid.

    I have no good advice for you. But I may have an idea what it's like.
  6. SugarPoison

    SugarPoison Member

    I'm sorry but you need to put your foot down and leave. You're wasting your life. You're XXXXXX anyway, despite the suicide (no offence). You're 40 and you're not married, you don't have any children or a wife? I'm sorry to sound harsh but you need to leave as soon as possible. Take an adventure and leave. Your parents will realise you're 40 when you leave. Tell them that enough is enough, you need to have a life too. Stop pondering about it and asking strangers and get out and have your life before it's over. You have no idea what good things life has to give when you get some ambition. There are wonderful, amazing people out there, all waiting to meet you. So pack your bags, tell them enough is enough and go and live your life! XXXXXX
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 24, 2009
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I agree with what everyone else is saying, it may seem hard but you need to take charge of your life. You need to make some serious changes and only then will you begin to feel better. I hope you manage to sort things out soon :hug:
  8. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    I can understand you staying because your father needs your aid in order to survive. However there are other options and your father can get the aid he needs. My grandfather is 83 and he could live alone very well.

    Is your father sick and feeble, or is he just trying to guilt you into staying?
    Does he physically rely on you day-to-day to help him with everyday tasks such as eating, showering, and moving around?

    If he is in decent health at his age I would move out. Does he make you feel bad? Any verbal abuse? If yes then he will fine. You can let him go into a nursing home, or get hospice nurses, or whatever is most appropriate for his ailment.

    You are 40 years old. Even if your father was terminally-ill you don't have to take care of him, beleive it takes the life out of you. You are 40!!! You need to live your life!

    Is the question you really want answered, am I sure I want to move? And how will I break it to my parents, and how will they respond?
  9. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Maybe, my father was seriously considering this time. I will talk to him tonight.
  10. WillST

    WillST Active Member

    Did your father live with his parents (your grandparents) until they died?

    If the answer is no, then why should he demand that you do what he didn't?
  11. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Doesn't sound like he has your best interests at heart. Sounds like my Dad. You just can't win. You have to let go :hug:
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