Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by run4fun, Jun 9, 2007.
after my brother's suicide, he has never cried. is this normal??
im not sure hun. i never saw my dad crying, and ive heard he was once crying when i was in coma and the docs said it was very unlikly me waking up. think its just so much harder for guys to show their feelings and emotions
take care hun,
People deal with things in their own way. Maybe your father is hiding his feelings from you in hopes you don't become more hurt. I'm sure he's going through such a rough time. Just be there for him if he does begin to cry--some people just don't express their emotions with tears. Just let him know you're there for him if he needs to express anything and I'm truly sorry for your family's loss.
All people react different, but some people pretend they are ok and be feeling other things and also some people hold in their feelings, also in life some people see it as if you are male you are suppose be strong and not cry and yada yada, but i'm not sure not knowing him. But it's healthy to cry and greive but some people won't let themselves. I hope everything works out for you and your father and the rest of your family. I am so vry sorry for your great loss hun. :hug:
A lot of people especially guys don't want others to see them cry. Because of society most think that it's a sign of weakness and that it's not ok for guys to cry. Just because you haven't seem him cry doesn't mean he hasn't. He have done it when no one was around. Also is it possible he's in denial? or maybe has pushed your brothers death to the back of his mind because it's too painful to think about?
i stopped crying in feb.1998. i've been able to shed one tear since then. everyone is different. i wish i could cry. but you need to try to be supportive of your father. be there for him. some ppl just don't know how to cry and/or just can't do it. like the faucet has been turned off. me. jsut be supportive and caring. sorry to hear about the loss too.
i had something like this when my granny died, i wanted to cry but i couldnt, i just lay in my bed hoping to cry so i wouldnt feel as sad, and the thing was i tryrd never to cry infront of my mom because shes missed her very deeply (my granny died of undiscovered cancer so my mom was not able to prepare). my mom would also try to not cry in front of me so i wouldnt cry, the best thing you can do (in my personal opinion) is to talk to your dad, both cry, tell him he dosnt need to bottle it up, tell him its takes a bigger man to cry when he needs to, dont tell him its unmanly. one night when i was feeling very sad i went down and just broke down crying in front my mom and she cried with me and told me she felt the same. i now feel better and so dos my mom, im now able to talk to her about my granny and not being scared of seeing my mom cry because now i know whens she crys it is for the best.
this mightnt sound right to you and other people but this is how i feel. out of every death there is a positive, when i lost my granny i became very close to my grandad who i had not previously been close to, i also now appreciate being eith both my grandads (i lost my other granny before i was born).
if you are able to handle it i think you should talk to your dad and other siblings if you have them and that will help them and yourself, you mught feel sad at the time but it will help you in the long term. you will probaly become much closer to your dad and other siblings if you have.
one thing i must urge to do is talk o your dad because if he is not crying because he is trying to help you not be sad it can be very damaging and painful on him although you wont notice it. it will help him and it is very important that if he is 'bottling' it up that and 'emptys' the bottle. i hope this can help as it is my first post