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My father recently raped me...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by raganjane, Apr 27, 2012.

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  1. raganjane

    raganjane New Member

    Wow.. I don't think I have ever really been that blunt about it.

    I am struggling in a major way. At the recommendation of my therapist I began writing my experiences online (blogging), but I need more support and so I am attempting to build a support system. This seemed like a good place to start. Last night I wanted to hurt myself. Since being here I have already found something that might help me... "The Emergency Box."

    Rewriting everything seems a bit redundant. I have a blog and this post is the main part of my story. If you could take a minute to read it. You'll know where I'm at.


    I purchased a pregnancy test this week. I'm waiting until Saturday or Sunday. Truth is I just keep putting it off because I think seeing a "yes" might be my breaking point. I am filing a report this week as well. I'm a nervous wreck, but I'm moving in a forward motion.

    My name is Ragan, I'm new... and very scared.
  2. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Great yove reached out here i really dont know what to say ive been abused by non family member and i know how it feels just to be violated.Here is great place to reach out find support we all have different probs but do try to support each other.Glad you are able to write things down as that is good way of venting and just reading your post here you seem very strong willed good work.
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you :( I have been in the same position with the pregnancy test. The shaking, not sleeping, feeling sick to the stomach. You just have to stay strong, it's the best we can do. I got raped by a very good friend and over the last year and a half my life has been a living hell with trying to report it to the police. However, I didn't have any evidence and it sounds like you do so hopefully he will go to jail for a very long time.

    I will check out your link and I think you are very very brave for opening up. I really hope you can find a safe way to cope because it is hard but possible to come out this feeling stronger.

    Will be thinking of you :hug: xx
  4. Hello raganjane and welcome to the forum. :hug:
    Please be strong enough and report it to the police. Tell your therapist. :hug:
  5. raganjane

    raganjane New Member

    Thank you. I am thinking of taking the pregnancy test this weekend. I'm just not sure I'm ready for a positive result. Part of me wants to wait until my therapist get's back in town. I have told my therapist everything, we have a great working relationship. She is a great source of strength in providing support and allowing me to make my own decisions, when, where, and how.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2012
  6. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Hello raganjane,

    I have never experienced this myself, so I can offer no sound advice based on my own accord. I cannot begin to imagine the torment you must be feeling--can there be a more tumultuous horror to endure? I once was close to a girl who was raped by her father when she was five. When I knew her, at twenty five, she was seeing a therapist on a weekly basis and she said it helped her a great deal to get through the nightmare.... Clearly, she had a strong distrust toward men, and there were times when I feared an attack. Mind you she was also severely anorexic and schizophrenic (so I never did discover which of those I failed to fix the most).. But all I can say to you is that my Heart goes out to you, and I don't know what I would do, if I were you. Violence, as just as it may sound, really solves no thing: and you would come to understand this, only after the act (unfortunately). Plus, I think that that path would be in some small way a step in the direction your Dad was headed; and you surely don't want that! I wish I had some other ways of guiding you, but I am out of worthy words. Maybe the one thing to consider--& I'm such an idiot because I don't know my biology of women--is the timeline in terms of what you might decide to do, should you be impregnated. Insofar as taking the test sooner, rather than later, whenever too late might be. But I don't know anything!


    P.S. you are the victim here, and there's nothing to feel ashamed about or guilty over and most definitively no good reason to hurt yourself over this tragedy. that would only serve to compound matters with regards this devastating atrocity.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 27, 2012
  7. raganjane

    raganjane New Member

    Your post made me cry MisterBGone... I don't know why, but thank you.

    I'm taking the pregnancy test tonight.
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