my fault *maybe trigger?*

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by awfulfriend, Aug 31, 2007.

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  1. awfulfriend

    awfulfriend Guest

    my friend sent me an email saying she was going to die because of me. dont even know what i did :( then she attempted.
    i cant ever forgive myself. thought i was a good friend but i guess i couldnt have been more wrong. her boyfriend wont talk to me, wont tell me whats going on. i cant go on. i dont know what to do :(
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Well firstly is she ok?
    Once all the furore has died down, you need to contact her and find out what the hell is going on. :hug:
  3. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    try and find out if she's ok..
  4. awfulfriend

    awfulfriend Guest

    sorry yes she's ok. was so upset earlier i didnt even think to say. she's getting medical treatment, in hospital at the moment. i'm just shaking, panicking. thanks so much for replying.
    i really didn't do anything at all to upset her, nothing, at all. ive always been there for her. always. every day, put her first.
    is it wrong to feel a bit angry? her bf just texted saying to leave her alone. just wanted to know how she was
  5. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    her bf sounds a bit rude...

    It's good to hear she is 'alive' hope she recovers :hug:
  6. awfulfriend

    awfulfriend Guest

    thanks blackness. shes not in a critical condition. will be home today ,.just cant stop thinking about what would have happened if it had been worse. why did she blame me?? i couldnt go on if i lost her. im so glad shes ok but i'm so selfish feeling like this :'( what right to i have to be upset. sorry
  7. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    Maybe you indirectly triggered her, or for no reason she blamed you. Sometimes when we are so down about it, we get angry and wanna blame others.
    Dont take it personally hun.
  8. awfulfriend

    awfulfriend Guest

    thanks. guess thats possible but all i said was that i cared. that's it,. nothing else. said id always be there. i didnt mean to if i did :'(
  9. squiggly

    squiggly Guest

    Maybe she wanted you to prove how much you cared? Or it was scary for her to think someone cared? Or she was trying to get you to show her how much you care by running after her after an attempt? Maybe she fancies you and that scared her and that is why her boyf is warning you off? Or something TOTALLY different.

    If what you say is what happened (not calling you a liar, but things appear different from different peoples perspectives) then it was probably nothing you did, just what is happening in her head.

    Maybe just write her letter or something so she can read it when she wants, and leave her alone until you get a response.

    Don't blame yourself. She was the one that carried out the act. Something will have triggered her to do that, but it doesn't have to be anything you did.

    (oh, and her boyf sounds angry, and anger is a cover emotion for things like fear, confusions, etc, so try to see beneath the anger. Give them some space, and wait to see the outcome of the letter).
  10. awfulfriend

    awfulfriend Guest

    thanks for your reply. i did just get a message from her, was only short but helped a bit - says she panicked and needed to take her anger out on someone, that it wasnt me but she needed to know someone cared that day and when she didnt hear from me all afternoon she got angry. her boyfriend has always thought that she fancies me and been a bit funny about our friendship but i dont think she does - we grew up together and i think im more like a brother to her. he shouldnt feel threatened

    i think youre right about the anger, i hope so anyway

    thanks so much everyone for your help, i think i'll still write that letter and give her some space

    thanks again
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