Back in December I took an OD..and then found out that there was a SMALL chance I might have been pregnant and lost it when I OD'ed. I don't care how small the chance was..in my head I was and I killed it. I have never forgiven myself for it
Just found out today that my neighbour and good friend is pregnant....and that she got pregnant in December..around the same time. She already has a little boy of 2 who I used to babysit loads for. I feel horrible, I should be happy for her (and I am) but all I keep thinking is that it could have been me. How am I supposed to be happy for her while hating myself so much for the past and thinking like this?? How am I supposed to babysit the child..live next door..watch it grow up..knowing (in my heart atleast) what I did and knowing that that could be my child.
Sorry I know you'll all think this is stupid as there's no way of knowing etc....but in my heart i know
Just found out today that my neighbour and good friend is pregnant....and that she got pregnant in December..around the same time. She already has a little boy of 2 who I used to babysit loads for. I feel horrible, I should be happy for her (and I am) but all I keep thinking is that it could have been me. How am I supposed to be happy for her while hating myself so much for the past and thinking like this?? How am I supposed to babysit the child..live next door..watch it grow up..knowing (in my heart atleast) what I did and knowing that that could be my child.
Sorry I know you'll all think this is stupid as there's no way of knowing etc....but in my heart i know