My feelings don't matter, I don't matter just rip me up!!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Jun 9, 2007.

  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I can't beleive this shit, how can people live with theirselves ffs?!!?

    All my life I have been hurt over and over anfd over 21 years of nothing but pain, lies, menipulation, abuse. Since I was a small child I've been hurt as a small child I put a huge wall up to protect myself and everytime I think hey you have to trust someone and they prooved themself I trust then I get hurt, people don't care the torment they put me through, EVERY single time I let my graud down and trust someone beleiving they care and would use me or hurt me they drop the fucking bomb, I can't take it anymore, I can't I can't be hurt anymore, it happend over and over and over and over and over and over, WHY?????? What did I erver do? I have aklways been there for people I do my very best to be a friend and help people even if it means I can't help myself bevccause I put it all on others I care too much, I don't want to care about people anymore, but hey I don't matter why not? fuck all this. It's not fair not at all people tell me not to hurt myself, but yet it's fine for anyone and their fucking doig to hurt me and it doesn't matter because it';s just Carolyn, she doesn't matter!!!!!!!
  2. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  3. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I don't know what to say Carolyn, how people can toy with other peoples emotions like its nothing never ceases to amaze me. Even when that person is aware of your history - abuse, rape, and mental manipulation, it doesn't seem to make them think twice about what they say. Not just once...but on several occasions this has happened.

    You need to protect yourself. I don't want you to put up a wall that stops good people from contacting you. You need your friends, but you also need to protect yourself from further harm, you might have to think about cutting contact with this person.

    I know this is rich coming from me...haven't exactly done right by you in the past, and Ive hurt other people here really badly, cant forgive myself for some of things Ive done/said, but still, I hope you take my advice. Please try not to hurt yourself.

    :hug: Matt.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2007
  4. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Whats been going on Caz? I keep leaving you messages that never get answered; I just thought your internet was down, has more been going on?

  5. Carolyn, I tried to be supportive of you, yet, for some reason, I don't see you at MSN anymore.
  6. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    you do matter. who ever these ppl are that are hurting you, you need to let them go if not for ever, at least for a while. to give yourself some time to heal a least a little bit. it is hard to trust ppl, i agree. but there is atime when we all need to trust at least one person. i have walls and barriers up too. at some point the walls need to come down for our own safety.
    i'm sorry to hear about everything going on. if you ever want to talk i' here fr you ok
  7. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    duplicate post
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 9, 2007
  8. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Yeah thanks for the replies all, I don't matter though. It's very obvious. I should just leave the site and everything else. I make no difference I'm more less gone 2 months and noone even noticed or cared. :cry:
  9. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: dont think like that we all care and we will always be here for you no matter what hun, just please hold on.