My fiance is going to lose his mom in a few months possibly and I have BPD.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by TooShyToScream, Feb 6, 2011.

  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    His mom has cancer and according to doctor only has a few months left. And I'm afraid that when it happens, I won't be able to deal with the situation properly. If he wants my comfort, I can give that to him. It's not a problem. What I'm most afraid of is that he'll want to be alone or sleep all day or something. I know that's a standard way of dealing with grief but I don't know if I can handle that with my BPD. I'll feel useless, like he doesn't need or want me if he wants to be left alone. And if all he wants to do is sleep, I can't just walk about the house and find stuff to do while he does that. I'd feel lonely and sad. But I wouldn't be able to sleep with him all day either; that'd make me upset too. Please don't tell me to try to do my best to understand if these things happen...I WILL do my best, I just know my disorder and how it makes me react. If I'm not paid attention to, I feel unloved and might want to leave the realitionship and/or become suicidal or something. I don't mean to be selfish, I know how much it'll hurt him when it happens...I just won't be able to help feeling that way due to my disorders. What should I do?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Is it possible to talk to him about finding a way to communicate during this very sad time? Also, maybe you can find other ppl to support you so you do not feel as alone and lost? I am so sorry she is so ill and I hope your fiance and you get through this OK...J