my fiance

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ZombiePringle, Jun 25, 2009.

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  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yesterday she told me she wants to give her compliments all the time, take her out on dates more often and other such things. this came a couple days after she told me "she was sick of dealing with how depressed I am and I need to focus on her instead" now do you think what she said yesterday is part of what she said about the being sick of my depression thing? it confuses me. And to be honest I used to do that stuff for her but then she started saying and doing not nice things to me. some of you may know of these things she has done.
  2. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    Your fiance seems to be very self absorbed... you need to be with people who can support you through your depression so that you can get better. :hug:
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Obviously i'm no relationship expert and i don't know much other than what you've said here about your relationship with you fiance, but it sounds like the two may be linked in that, she's hoping if she can get you to give her compliments and go out and stuff you'll be less depressed thus making her feel better overalll. Thats how i think it sounds, but like i said, i could be wrong. :hug: I would say try it, make a date night, perhaps a wednesday night? And make that your official date night so you always go out, to the cinema, to a gig, to a restaurant, simple things. And when you go out tell her how nice she looks, or you like her outfit or her hairstyle. It doesn't need to be anything fancy or elaborate, women like the simpler things. See how it goes :) Feel free to pm me if you want anymore advice :hug:
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    It does sound like she's being selfish. She should do what she can to help you through your depression, not tell you she's sick of dealing with it. And if she wants you to do nice things for her, she should also be doing just as many nice things for you.
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I agree that the way she's handling the depression isn't very nice, she needs to be more supportive, but that's not to say that she doesn't deserve compliments or dates. She could do with being more sympathetic, and a relationship is a two way street, but perhaps if you start doing more nice things for her she'll return the favour.
  6. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Thank you. one of the problems I see with it is she tends to always leave me to go hang out with her friends. Spends nights over there sometimes weekends. I can understand during the week because I work the night shift but she also leave me on the weekends a lot telling me she needs a "girls night" If she really wanted to have a date night then why not just go on a date on a saturday night instead of her leaving for her girls night. its basically every saturday she does. thats why this is kind of confusing for me.
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Talk to her? Ask her why she does that. this sounds like something that might only be able to be resolved by asking her straight out why she does this
  8. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Yeah, I've asked her before. All she says is "well she's my best friend and I want to spend time with her" Then when I asked her to stay home one weekend she said okay then left that following weekend anyways saying that we didn't have any plans really. I've basically stopped asking her to stay home.
  9. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hey kanku :hug:
    sorry she doesnt sound 2 supportive..but i guess ppl deal with othr ppls depresion in different ways.
    might b an idea 2 buy her some flowers or sumat? cook dinner ? i dunno anything that shows her u care and might make her want 2 show she cares about u sure she does ..
    prolly see u in chat sometime soon :)
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I had a similar experience with my exfiance'.. I won't go into details but her nights out started turning into her being gone for two days then it led to a week..I had people telling me she was cheating but I didn't want to beleive it.. I'm not saying yours is cheating but be warey if it leads into her staying gone longer periods of time..I agree with the others that you need to sit down with her and be direct in how she is sending you confusing signals...
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