Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you just knew the results or outcome before it happened? With me, it happens sometimes. As the thread title, I feel like these are the last of my days. I don’t think I have much longer to live. Even if something great were to happen, it would only delay the inevitable. My life will eventually end by my own hands. Recently, my “friends” have brought it to my attention how cold and heartless I’ve become. Over the past 6 and a half years, ive been through severely traumatizing experiences that have made me... hollow. I now have a complete lack of regard for myself, and those around me. My best friend, who I’ve known for nearly a decade, I now treat him as if he was dead to me. The worst part about it, is I’m not troubled in the least about it. I’ve been depressed for so long, I just don’t feel anymore. I’ve lost my sanity and the worst part, is that I love it. I live for pain. I live for misery. Without it, life isn’t normal. I find myself purposefully hurting myself (not physically), just so I can feel pain; just so I can feel something. All I’ve ever wanted to be was a good husband and greater father. I’ve never been in a relationship. Girls approach me frequently when I’m out with friends and at work, but after careful consideration, I’ve realized that people like me shouldn’t procreate. I just highly resent life now. My life is ending soon, and you know what, I’m sort of glad it is. It’s the way it should be