Such significant pain is nature's method of having you stop what you're doing and embark on your life's purpose. Unfortunately, such significant pain also presents other, less desirable alternatives.
I once pondered, "What causes depression?" That question alone led me to still be here. The usual reasons, I believe, are mistaken, yet well-intentioned.
So look beyond what has been presented to you. Embark on your life's goals for if you've reached this stage you have nothing left to lose. Now is simply yet another major decision point in your life. And if you've made a decision that is not empowering for you and for your future, you can change it.
Good luck.