My first attempt at a Blog

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Donna, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. Donna

    Donna Member

    OK, in theory I know what a "Blog" is, someplace where a person can post their thoughts feelings on any topic. But theory is not real live so I'm having a real problem getting started.
    If you can read this you can probably read my profile as well, so some of the history no real need to go over what is in there again.
    At the moment I feel very ashamed of myself, when I joined this site I felt that my life was so messed up, after looking around a bit my issues seem so small.
    I've had emotional problems sense my very early teens if not before, but I have loving parents, not that they always approve of the direction I have taken so far in life. But they provide me love and safety, and don't pressure me to move on with my life faster than I feel comfortable with.
    I'm 20, (see profile) still live at home, could easily move out not that I could afford to on what I make with my part time job, but my parents would help me financially. But I don't think I could deal with being on my own, and moving in with someone else, my girlfriend or a platonic friend, tiny disagreements would lead to larger ones, and I just know that at best I would have an emotional meltdown.
    Now after mentioning that I have a girlfriend, we have been seeing each other for a bit over a year, I wouldn't conceder myself a lesbian, not 100%, I have dated boys, my first sexual encounter was with an older man, but at the moment I have no serious interest in men, especially ones in my age range.
    We all have thoughts sexual thoughts and it isn't unusual if those thoughts are not all about the person you're in a relationship with. But I do work at keeping those thoughts out of my head, I have enough crap (can you say crap on-line?) running around in my head as it is. And I do worry that thoughts might lead to me say or try something that would end up embarrassing and humiliating me, something I really don't need at the moment.

    I feel very confused, sort of ashamed that I’m taking the easy way out, metaphorically hiding under my bed instead of acting like the adult I’m supposed to be. I know my family worries about me, earlier this summer my aunt and I had a long talk, in tears she told me she was so afraid I was going to do something self-destructive

    Also I'm aware I didn't really express much in the way of my present feelings, supposedly that is one of the purposes of Blogs, but I am really just trying to get though this first one, and maybe delving into my emotions will get easier as I get a bit more practice.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I hope it's okay that I'm replying. I wasn't sure if you wanted this to be something where people replied or not. There are sections on this site, in the Let It All Out forum, for members to keep diaries; you're the only one who can reply to them, and you can choose to keep a public one where other members can read it, or a private one that only you (and staff members, if necessary) can see.

    Anyway, welcome to the site. I'm glad you joined. I read your post, and I hope you know that your problems are just as important as everyone else's.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf donna!
  4. Victori@

    Victori@ Well-Known Member

  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum Donna. I am glad you have parents that are supportive of you. Yeah, maybe at 20 you maybe should be thinking about getting out on your own, but you are still young and don't feel reay yet. That day will come. I am glad you joined our forum. i hope to see you around. :hug:
  6. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to Sf :)
  7. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    welcome to sf :hug:
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums Donna!! I'm sure with a little time you will grow confident to share more and you will find the members here to be very supportive.. Take Care!!
  9. Donna

    Donna Member

    Moved my Blog

    First let me say thank you for all of your support. I started a new blog in what seemed like a more appropriate location, same site though. You can find it in “Relationships and Sexual Orientation” probably not the best choice but I couldn’t find a perfect fit. I encourage you to take the time to read it, and make whatever comments you feel appropriate.
    Thanks again