my first attepmt when i was 11.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by johnny., Aug 10, 2007.

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  1. johnny.

    johnny. New Member

    honestly, i dont really car eif i die. i remeber when i was as young as 9 i would used to wish i got cancer, or i wished that i was in a car accedent. none fo thsoe happened. i didnt care if I died, becuase ocne I died, i would be dead and nothing would happen. i wouldnt be missing out becuase my life sucks.

    when I was 11, i tried to commit suicide. i drank rubbing alchohol. it was the stupidest thing ive ever done, because the pain was unbearable. my eyes were about to pop out, and my insides felt liek it wa son fire. then...after about 10 minutes, or atleast what I thought was 10 minutes, i passed out, or died, or because unconcious. i was discovered about an hour later... but when i passed out, all i could see was my problems being relived, and then everything flashed and all i could see was stars. the nex tthing i knew, i woke up at the hostpital, this lady staring at my, and my mom crying. i was in that cell place for 4 days. i thought about the attepmt, and it made me even wanna try harder. and then the stupid bitch psyciatrist kept on telling me shit i didnt want to hear, and it made me even more mad at myself.

    now everytime i close my eyes, i wished i was dead. i wish i am with my grandma, and i wish i was with my gf who passed away 4 months ago.

    and since my first attmt, ive tried 2wice but there a part of me that wont let myself go. but now, im going to try again. until i rest in piece.
  2. JFonseka

    JFonseka Active Member

    I hope you haven't done what you have intended to do, post back, I will help.
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