On the 9th january 2008 after school I went to this isolated park. It was cold and gloomy. There was a river right in front of me, but I didn't give it much thought because I would never drown myself (seems slow and painful). I had a knife in my bag from the 8th. When I got to the park I made a phone call to a boy who had attempted to hang before. He told me to call before I go, so I did. He only asked whether it's really what I wanted, I paused for 2 minutes and said 'I don't know, but I don't want to live with life I can't relate'. My mind was blank. I felt like an empty shell. Everything around me had no meaning at all. I felt as if I was the only one on the planet. I hang up the phone. I put my phone on loudspeaker and listened to Funeral March. I had never felt so relaxed. I took the knife out of my red school bag and watched the images reflecting on the blade. I lifted my left hand and rolled my sleeves. Put the blade on my wrist and run it diagonally. There was now a red line with no blood. I run the blade once more with twice as much force. Blood started flowing out. I watched it and smiled (probably looking like a maniac). The blood wasn't flowing out a lot. It didn't hurt at all. A gust of cold wind blew and I started shaking. I was freezing. I took my white scarf which was also in my bag and wiped the blood off my wrist. Took a massive plaster that I had taken from my moms room and placed it along the red line, then took a wristband with a smiley face on it that my friend bought me and wore it to cover the plaster. Put my sleeves down, stood up, walked forward, turned around and watched the little patch of blood on the grass with the knife next to it, also covered in blood. It was 6pm and dark because it's winter. I started my walk back home. Listening to the river. I got home and went straight to my room. I just sat on my bed staring at the ceiling. I sent the boy a text message that said 'I guess I'll die another day'. he replied with '' The next day my mom asked where one of the knives had gone. I said I wouldn't know because I hadn't been in the kitchen for three days. She left it at that. Probably because most of the things in the kitchen always go missing. She thought that maybe someone accidentaly chucked it in the bin like most other cutleries. I haven't done any P:E lessons at school ever since because I've been trying to hide the scar. They call my mom and I just say that I don't like the lesson and it's not going to get me any GCSE's.