My first post about my grandad

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by odl1988, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. odl1988

    odl1988 New Member

    Although technically he is not my grandad ( it is my nan's 2nd husband [my dad's dad died due to complications of ww2]) he died recently of lung cancer... which when my other nan died when i was 11-12, i was very very upset. But the problem was, i heard that my grandad was in agony before he died. My mum said he was delirious at the time (she's a midwife and had a huge history of medicine ect) but was coffin and struggling to breath so bad, he was pulling his breathing apparatus out of his nose telling the staff he knew he was going to die....

    I wasn't taken by it at first but my friend told me when we was out drinking (VERY heavily untill at least 6am) i began crying about it, but i dont remember but the fact remains.....

    Im staring to doubt why staying in the life is worthing it.... everyone dies and yourself dies too..... I would never want anyone to kill themselves... I wanna help people prolong their lives, but recently, im in a position where i feel sympathetic as i not sure if my life is really that good!

    Now before you comment, No im not gonna kill my self, but I want people to reflect on what I have said.... not cos i want them to end their lives, but because I want to try and help them get past their struggles in their life, like I hope people can help me get past my struggles in my life....

    random pokemon ball :pokeball: lol
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry for your lost and i do hope your reach out here for support hugs to you