Hi all, Im new to this forum and this is my first post. I read through some of the old threads last night and found some comfort from not feeling alone. At the moment my thoughts of suicide are with my daily and seem to be trigered by worrying about work, my finances which is related by my drinking problem. Ive been like this for nearly 15 years and I dont know how much more I can take. Ive taken action with my drinking and have reffered my self for treatment. How do I stay strong and sober when miserable when stress makes me crave a drink. Its like all I want to do is escape. I want to escape myself through drink and then rather than face the consequences I want to kill myself to escape. So after a binge I lay in bed thinking of ending my life and how I would do it. But Im always put off by the fear of what it would mean to my loved ones and the pain of actually going through with it. I feel like a total coward. But anyway, there we are, thats my cycle. Any advice on how to get out of it is welcome. I just want to be free of the part of me that creates such negativity and enjoy my life.