I don't know why I'm posting here honestly, except that I think I need some help before I do something insanely stupid. My situation may not seem as bad as some, but it's enough where for the first time in my life thoughts of suicide are taking over my waking hours. About 7 months ago, I got married to a beautiful woman who was 14 years younger than me. She was and is everything to me. I gave her everything that I have - all my time, attention and money. I bought her a house, a car, and generally helped her turn her life around 180 degrees. On Monday of this week, she came to me - said she was "bored", "tired of suburbia" and left. I've had no contact with her since. I live in our house, alone with all the momentos of our life together. I'm certain that she's not coming back as this is her pattern - pick up and move on every couple of years. She's never had any security and stability until now and I guess she doesn't need it or appreciate it. Where does that leave me? Simply put, I'm tired and broken down - mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm 35 years old and I don't want to start over again. I sat there with a gun in my hand for two hours last night willing myself to pull the trigger. Tonight, I'll go home and probably do the same. I'm not looking for anyone's sympathy - just a place to make my feelings known. If you have something that you'd like to say or maybe you've been in the same place, I could use your perspective.