First off I hate to sound like a fucking bitch. Im not into talking about my feelings this is the first time for me cos i want some help and I really dont wanna sound like a whiney bitch but Im so fucking lost right now and so sad. Im 18, have no friends, no job, never had a girlfriend and have a wrecked homelife. I practically grew up on the fucking internet for the last 5 years. Sometimes I go weeks without leaving the house and nobody notices. I feel invisible and empty. Im socially awkward and get anxiety when I do leave the house to go college which is very rare as Im so depressed and failing. I suffer from depression and Insomnia. My head aches from the lack of sleep I get so Im constantly in pain and cant concerntrate. I feel like a fucking failure. I was a really happy kid and had lots of ambition and thats why this is so hard for me. I feel like I could have been something and had a life but now I've failed I cant look at myself and I wanna end it. What hurts most is Im not a bad person but I feel like Im constantly suffering. I've not made any attempts so far cos Im too fucking scared to kill myself but I've gotten to the point where Im seriously considering it. Im so fucking empty and defeated I feel like Im nothing.