My first suicidal thoughts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by WastedYouth, Mar 26, 2008.

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  1. WastedYouth

    WastedYouth New Member

    First off I hate to sound like a fucking bitch. Im not into talking about my feelings this is the first time for me cos i want some help and I really dont wanna sound like a whiney bitch but Im so fucking lost right now and so sad.

    Im 18, have no friends, no job, never had a girlfriend and have a wrecked homelife. I practically grew up on the fucking internet for the last 5 years. Sometimes I go weeks without leaving the house and nobody notices. I feel invisible and empty. Im socially awkward and get anxiety when I do leave the house to go college which is very rare as Im so depressed and failing. I suffer from depression and Insomnia. My head aches from the lack of sleep I get so Im constantly in pain and cant concerntrate.

    I feel like a fucking failure. I was a really happy kid and had lots of ambition and thats why this is so hard for me. I feel like I could have been something and had a life but now I've failed I cant look at myself and I wanna end it.

    What hurts most is Im not a bad person but I feel like Im constantly suffering.

    I've not made any attempts so far cos Im too fucking scared to kill myself but I've gotten to the point where Im seriously considering it.

    Im so fucking empty and defeated I feel like Im nothing.
  2. Ire

    Ire Guest

    I am in a similar position some. 18 as well. Basically grew up on a computer, since we got one at age 8. Most friends I ever had at once was 2, and now it's 1. Never had a girlfriend...

    After I joined the navy and got separated it feels like it was all just a waste of time.

    Don't try to kill yourself... it is not a good idea. I tried to OD and ended up making myself throw it up. Most likely if you do try you will regret it and hope it's not too late. It's a horrible feeling. :dry:

    Have you tried anything for the insomnia? Sounds like that would help quite a bit.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    wow, i could have wrote that, you sound exactly like me(so therefore i dont really know how to help:sad:)

    If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. Welcome to the forum :welcome:
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