I am very sensitive, and when something horrible happens to me, I can't help but shatter like glass to a thrown stone. About 2 days ago, I was still in college and the worst things happened to me during the day, which caused me to drop out with intentions of ending my life. This nasty and abusive teacher would constantly yell at and put people on the spot for no good cause. There was an awfully incompetent student that this teacher would always pair me up with, and I think he was doing so because he wanted me to give up and drop out of the course because he saw me as fragile and unlikely to make it in the culinary trade. Certainly I wasn't all that cut out for it, I shortly realized after this course began, but I was still willing to give it a shot and try my best to at least get through it. This student I was paired up with would mess up everything, and I would also get yelled at for her mistakes. The teacher would throw things around and also swear under his breath, it was very intimidating. There was nothing I could do to pass no matter how hard I tried. The odds were all against me, and this was going to be the third time I was to drop out of a course. "I'm going to end my life after I get through this horrible day" I thought to myself. Holding back the tears, I finished cleaning up for the day. When I exited the building, I cried all the way home, while looking up suicide methods on my phone. It was unsightly, it was embarrassing, and I the tears would not stop when I gazed at everything like it was the last time I would ever lay my eyes upon them. By the time I got back home, I immediately got on my computer to tell some of my friends that I was going to go and kill myself, and that I was sorry I couldn't stick around any longer. They managed to calm me down, even though it took a long time. I ended up writing a long email to my dad explaining the situation, and luckily he was understanding and reassured me that he and my mother still love me. It pains me to think, that if my parents were less accepting, I would probably not be breathing anymore. I am so fortunate to have these supportive people in my life, who will still accept someone who's failed as many times as myself. I still can't help but wonder if my parents are actually are understanding or if they're just scared I'll actually kill myself if they told me how they really thought.. One of the things said to me that stood out was; "failures are just unsuccessful attempts". You can't always succeed on the first try, if you don't, then at least you can learn from analyzing said "failure". You will grow, even if you fail, as long as you don't give up. Right now, I'm feeling rather hopeful, so don't worry about me. But I just want to say, do not act on your impulses, especially if you know you are a fragile and sensitive person.. it really sucks to think about how some of my friends might be dead if they had acted on their impulses before. When you're unable to get out of the suicidal mindset yourself, go and talk to someone you trust. You might wonder what the heck my plan for my life is right now though, after having wasted so much money dropping out of school. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure myself, but I'll probably push myself to get a job somewhere finally and work on improving my artistic ability, the thing I'm passionate about.