My friend committed suicide last nite.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by HomerSimpson, Sep 16, 2011.

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  1. HomerSimpson

    HomerSimpson Well-Known Member

    A close friend of mine last night committed suicide. She was only 31. She had always been depressed, but seemed to win the small battles with depression all the time.She had a troubled childhood, but seemed to overcome it all. She just graduated college two years ago, and finally became a teacher. Something she had always wanted to do. She had a 5 yo daughter. She always seemed a strong willed person, I remember times when she would give me advice when I would tell her about how depressed and miserable in life I was, or times someone would say something to her demeaning and she would always stand up for herself and never back down.

    I just sit here and just wonder at what demons she had inside of her like the rest of us just eat us away until we can take it no more. I am not sure if it is selfish, but I ask myself if she could not make it than how will I. She had a family, and support around her, but still she could not make it through. I have literally nothing, and no one so why in the world do I think I will be able to make it through all of this depression and misery. No job, no close family, no kids, basically nothing.

    I just wish she could have somehow found some way to win the battle she was going through, because of her little girl.
  2. Kølle

    Kølle New Member

    We can't all cope with our depression, its not because we are weak, and its not because we don't get support; its that we are not mentally strong, in the one moment where it matters the most. Though she had a loving family, a child and her dream career, does not mean it didn't contribute - maybe she was afraid, her child would become like her, if the child was around her too much? Maybe the job she dreamed about, turned out to be something she couldn't handle, psychically, due to the mental stress it is, teaching.

    Unfortunately, we can keep trying to rationalize why and how - something you believe in, just to comfort yourself, in any given situation. If you're sad, and someone close too you committed suicide, its imposssible to put yourself in her shoes - and it may therefore seem, that she had all she could ever want.

    We all have demons, as you yourself mention, eating us up from the inside. But as you yourself say; neither of us really have nothing - which is why it makes it even harder for us, to actually achieve something! I'm not sure, if you're religious or an atheist, and right now it doesn't matter; cus' my point remain valid, whatever you believe. In the beginning there was nothing (Evolution says there was matter and anti-matter, but I digest), and look where we are now? Look outside your window! Look what has come, out of nothing! Sometimes, all it needs is a spark.

    If I didn't catch exactly what you said/meant, I am very sorry. But I really do hope, the few words I wrote, will help you just a little!
  3. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am sorry you lost your friend. It must be very painful and confusing right now.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss Homer...may she rest in peace.
    each of our stories are different and because she didn't make it doesn't mean you won't.
    different circumstances, different character, different perceptions of things all make us unique in our pain..
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun as stated we do not know what kind of mental anquish she was in at the moment hun dam pain was just to much to bear that all. I think each of us has a fighter inside we do but sometime we just get worn down too much. That is why it is important to have the backup help hun when we need it the most have that crisis number close by I have it by me at all times I am so sorry your friend succumb to this illness I do hope her husband and daughter now have help they will need to carry on. I hope you can get some help for YOU okay to help you through this loss as well hugs
  6. Underground

    Underground Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry I don't have a lot of words to say, but I'm really sorry about what happened to your friend. It is nothing short of tragic, it really brings home the reality of how bad some peoples depression and other mental illness/anguish can get. If she was able to cope with all the small battles over the years, then this time the mental anguish must have been so overwhelming that it unfortunately won in the end.

    Her, her family and her friends (including you) have my deepest condolences. x
  7. cutiepie132

    cutiepie132 Well-Known Member

    Depression makes you irritational, you can't always think straight.. I think if God didn't mean for it to be her time to go, then she would not have succeeded at what she did, I think it's up to him, it's not up to us, regardless of what we try to do.

    I'm also very sorry about your friend.

    Maybe you could be there for the little girl like a mommy figure, keep an eye on her, I'm sure your friend would apprieciate it..

    My thoughts are with you all.
  8. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    R.I.P. your friend
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist


    I am truly sorry for your painful loss.

    Please take care of you. :hug:
  10. tmostna

    tmostna Active Member

    May they Rest in Peace.

    I am not sure I am qualified to give advice, but I will say I that judging by the cases I have read about over the years, personal circumstances are subjective.

    I read recently about a fellow called Trey Pennington.

    Yes he was going through a painful divorce, but from the outside looked to be a resilient high achiever with six children and two grand children alongside a successful career.

    You would think he would have every reason coupled with the emotional strength to carry on.

    I liked your comment about God allowing your friend to go.

    As I have said, I am not especially religious, but that makes about as much sense as anything else and it's certainly as nice way to think about it.
  11. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss... A friend of mine tried to kill himself once, by swallowing pills. When he told me that, I thought the same thing as you: if someone as amazing and funny and happy as that could attempt suicide, then what keeps me from attempting it, too? I guess we never really know what's going on inside a person's head until they do something really big...
  12. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Very upsetting. May some force in the universe give you strength to get through this rough time.
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