My friend doesn't let me in!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by malenka, Jun 27, 2008.

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  1. malenka

    malenka Member

    We met through work. She lost her mum year ago and been on antidepresants ever since. She lives alone, use to have a cat but the cat died too last year.
    The conversation when it comes to how she is feeling is, OK, got new tablets, see how they work. I can't get anything out of her. She was a bit moody this morning and just walk out of work today and didn't come back. Called HR from her car to say she is not coming back in, doesn't answer the phone now to any calls.
    I don't know how bad she is feeling and why she chooses not to talk, when she knows she has people to listen to her and take care of her. It is us the girls, four of us, and we go places together, have lunch, share bottle, shopping...
    I am so worried. I don't want anything happening to her. I can't cope if anything did happen to her. i am already grieving for someone that took their own life two months ago. I wan't to help her, I want her to get better, I want her to be happy, I want her to live. But she doesn't let me! Or anyone else!
    I am scared to go to her house. I am scared to see, can't see that again, I just can't, I just feel sick with worryand fell helpless :sad:
  2. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry to hear that, Hun. I hope in time she will let you in. I know when you can be there for someone you care about, it tears you up because you just want to help or be there.. I'm afraid that you can not force her to let you in, just make sure it's clear that you are there for her when and if she's ready. Take care, Hun. :hug:
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    that's a hard situation. just please continue to try to get a hold of her. maybe leave her a message reminding her you're there to listen to her, and that you totally care. just continue to try to support her the best you can. please take care
  4. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    If she's not answering her phone could you send a letter, giving your number and your wish to hear from her. That way she would know she has someone who cares. Or maybe send a card with all your names and numbers on it, if the others are concerned about her too. Just to let her know she doesn't have to be alone.
  5. mike25

    mike25 Well-Known Member

    ^That sums it up^
    With someone in that state of mind, even if they don't contact/see you for months, they still think about you and feel less isolated knowing you're there. You're being the best friend you can be, and you can't do more than that.
  6. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Sometimes no matter how much someone wants to spill how they are feeling they just can't. Sometimes the words are impossible to find. The best you can do is be there and support her and when she feels comfortable enough she will come to you and you will prove to her what a good friend you are.

    As for not answering the calls, etc. you should try visiting her home if you know where she lives. Just drop by and say you wanted to make sure she was okay. Just be there for her is all you can really do. You are showing by wanting to help her that youa re a good friend.

    Be safe.
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