My friend is acting strange, I think he might kill himself.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blacky, Dec 3, 2013.

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  1. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey guys,
    one of my friends is not feeling so good. His parents are getting a divorce and this brings him down.
    He is cutting himself (really badly) and metioned suicide a few times.
    He also is lossing intrests, he is not eating, he isolates himself and is sad all the time and says he is a burden
    and he is in pain.
    I mean, there are several factors why he is feeling like this, one of them is, that his parents are getting
    a divorce, he is in love with me and yeah...I said that I couldn't have a boyfriend right now...which made him sad
    and his sister is all the way back in Germany.
    The thing is, I attempted suicde 3 month ago and I am far from feeling good. I mean, I'm better but he is
    keeping me on the eadge and people want me to do something, because I know how these things are.
    But I can't/ Not because I don't like him. I just can't, this is dragging me down, too.
    I don't know what to do. Do you guys have an idea???
     
  2. wyngedbyste

    wyngedbyste Well-Known Member

    You're in a tough spot. You have to take care of yourself and you want to help your friend. Could you contact one of his parents to let them know what's going on? Just because his parents are going through a divorce doesn't mean they don't care about him. Unfortunately, bottom line is you're not responsible for him. If he won't/can't get help, there's not much you can do about it. Just be sure to keep yourself safe.

    Byste
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hey Blacky :hug: I am sorry this is happening. If you canot speak with his parents, can you call his sister? Do you know an adult who you can talk with about this? I think it is important to tell someone. For his sake and for yours. Can you think of someone who you can talk with very soon irl about it? Someone who would know what to do to get help for him.... soon before he tries to sui. I think its important to do. I am glad you are writing here about this. Good way to get some ideas re how to procede.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 3, 2013
  4. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    If you cant talk to his parents or his sister and don't know any adults really.... maybe your own parents? Would they be trustworthy and/or be able to help you to help both you and him? I agree, you do need to look after yourself first.... but I know from experience that is really hard to do when you know someone else you care about is hurting too. I think you need to make sure you do something to make sure both of u have an "extra set of eyes on you", making sure neither of you falter. Maybe that means talking to a guidance counselor, or a teacher, or your parents... maybe it means calling a hotline or going to a group counseling session. Maybe... get him to come on here too? I am sorry to hear you are in this much pain, and that he is too.... and I think you made the right decision in not starting a relationship (at least not til both of you are emotionally stable - who knows, maybe then something will blossom). I think yoiu have a very good head on your shoulders, I just think you both need support.
     
  5. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    I talked with my mom and my therapist about it and both of them agreed that I should call my counsler. I told my counsler what's been going on and that I'm not much of a help right now, but I don;t really think she is taking me seriously or I don;t know. Yesterday I thought I have to call 911 because of an disturbing text message and another friend of mine told me, that she read some things he wrote...like he only can talk to me, he has no future and that he will be in pain forever. My counsler is just a waste of time, I mean, I went to her several times and told her, that she should do something, she called his parents and...nothing...I contacted his sister but she can't really help, because she is in Germany. My therapist talked with me and she suggested, hat mabye he should go to a hospital (like me, after my suicide attempt) to calm him down and to prevent a suicide attempt. Thank you guys for all your nice ideas, you are really supporting me here :hug:
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree with what has been said hun you need to look after YOU ok your friend if he is stating he is suicidal you can call crisis line and let them know so they can get him support he need to stay well. You cannot be his carer ok you need to take care of YOu only hugs
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you really have done a lot to try to help him. Sounds like more than what his family is doing. Has your therapist suggested a next step you can try after the counselor doesnt do anyting? Whats sad is that his family seems to want to help him less than you. Does your therapist know that the counslor didnt end up doing anything to help? The most important thing is that you not let this drag you under. Dont go down with a sinking ship. The alternative to that would be to call a crisis line I think. Is your friend under 21 years old? you could also call your local NAMI. But Blacky, the important thing here is to not let this pull you under. Call your therapist if this is happening. asap okay? You are too important to me and us here to be dragged under. Please hear that. :hug:
     
  8. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    blacky, i think you are an awesome friend to have -- he is lucky to have you as a friend. if you believe he is a danger to himself, there's nothing wrong with calling 911, that would at least get him a psych evaluation to see if he needs admittance to a hopsital as your therapist suggested. from there, if they deem it neccessary, he would be admitted as involuntary -- which is good in that he then will be there however long he needs to be, bad in that he cannot elect to check himself out of his own volition. if he truly cares about you, even though he'd be mad at first (if he even found out who called), he would be thankful to you for saving his life after. but yes, in the end, total eclipse is right -- you are the #1 person you need to take care of, everything and everyone else is secondary... do what you know you need to do in order to keep you safe... nothing more and nothing less.... your main energy needs to be focused on you.
     
  9. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Things are getting worse...So, this week was like hell. I tried my best...I really tried but I can't help him...and I hate it when people tell me they had to go through this with me too...
    I know that... The thing is, I try. I really try. I stole his Ipod (Okay, he was okay with that) to make him a new playlist with happy music and stuff and his note thingi was open...
    And I read my name... I know this wasn't fair, but I couldn't help myself. In short, I'm causing his pain by being myself, if I talk with him if I don't talk with him...
    I can't do this anymore...if things are not getting better I'll try again... just to put one out of this misery...
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Blacky, I am sorry that you read your name. I think that when people are in extreme pain they want to push away the people who are the closest to them. Or who dont want them to sink. He is in so much destress. But I want you to not go down with him. I wish there was some way that a professional could know whats happening. So he can be gotten safe somewhere and helped. Personally, I think this is too much for any friend to navagate on their own. I hope your friend can get the help and medication he deserves. I wish someone who can take charge can get him help. eg a therapist or school counselor etc. But Blacky, can you work closely with your therapist to deal with whats coming up for you? Keep writing here. Because we are your friends and family who care. But also will you work closely with your therapist? Because I dont want this to cause harm to you. seriously, I want to protect you. :hug:
     
  11. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    The thing is, everytime I try to make him feel better....it's wrong...it makes him sad if I';m not there or he thinks that I only feel pity for him... Flowers and all the others here, I really appretiate your ideas, thouhts etc.
    I'm talking to my counsler non stop so she would actually do something, but I could talk with my cat about it...same effect....
    I can't lose this, but I'm feeling like I'm losing myself with it.
    Yep. I talk with my therapist about it on Tuesday, because she is really concerned right now...
    You are my family too :hug:
     
  12. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    blacky... it sounds like your friend is deep into depression and at that point... hes going to find fault/flaws with anythign and everything you try/do in order to help, b/c he is stuck in the idea that nothing can help... and needs to validate that over and over... its how we cycle ever deeper
     
  13. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Demuredawn, mabye you're right. I don't know what to do. I tried to inform adults but they keep ignoring my concerns...I'm feeling hopeless...
     
  14. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    you did what you could for him, now you need to concentrate on you...
     
  15. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Hey theren guys,
    so after a full month...I thought I could write here again...
    It's a whole month after I said, that my friend is feeling suicidal and everthing...
    Nothing really changed...
    He is still depressed, he wants to kill himself, he talks only to me and let's all his anger, sadness, depression out.
    On me...
    It's not that I like him, but I can't ignore the fact that I'm feeling bad again...
    Okay, that sounds really selfish and ignorant but I can't help it...
    I rather would kill myself then fight against this anymore...
    I just can't...
    So...yep...that's me again...selfish, pathetic...
     
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