My friend is talking suicide...what should I do?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by friendofafriend, Apr 17, 2013.

  1. friendofafriend

    friendofafriend New Member

    I have had this friend a little over three years. We've gotten closer in the past couple of years. I would say I'm the only friend she speaks with on a nearly daily basis. Her family is very religious, not understanding of depression and definitely not understanding of suicidal thoughts, so she has not told them any of these things as far as I'm aware. She is married, but her husband is overseas in the military right now. He is also not very understanding of depression. I've had depression and I think she feels I understand her more than some others in her life, so she confides in me.

    Recently, my friend has started to scare me. She was sick with the flu and in bed a lot. This made her change her normal routine and now, even though she is well from the flu, she is staying in more and in my opinion, falling deeper into depression. The flu just seemed to make the symptoms of her depression worse if that makes sense. And that's saying something because it was already bad.

    She recently told me that her husband would be better off without her because they are not getting along. She also told me that she doesn't understand why some people say suicide is "selfish" because she doesn't feel that way. She sees it as a burden being lifted off loved ones, sort of like the person committing suicide is doing others a favor by not being here. She has thought of suicide in the past and probably had suicidal ideations, but this seems like she is really thinking more about it.

    I told her to think of her family and what that would do to them. I said, please tell me if you are ever having serious thoughts of doing something to yourself because I want to help you. She gave me a half-hearted ok, but that did not make me feel any better about the situation.

    I am writing this because I woke up in the middle of the night last night in a panic for some reason. I couldn't go back to sleep. I started thinking, what if she does something to herself. I actually went to where I knew she'd be this morning and made sure her car was there, and it was, but apparently our conversation has scared me more than I initially thought.

    She is seriously depressed. She has major depression and it is not getting better. It's way worse. She knows she's depressed. She takes Xanax and another anti-depressant, and has for years. They've even switched her meds recently. They don't help for more than a couple hours after she takes them. That worries me, too. I fear she'll OD and not wake up one morning especially because of the Xanax.

    She is seeing a psychiatrist on Monday, not by choice, but that's another long story. I am hoping she will be helped by this, but it's a one time deal, so I'm not sure. I can't tell her family because I'm sure she would completely shut down and never speak to me again, and maybe not even speak to her family about it. It would make things way worse. And I don't want to email her husband in the Middle East. What do I do? Hope for the best? I fear there is a downward sprial in the works. I feel helpless to help her.
  2. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    why don't you give her a few options and she can mae right decision

    Ask her to call the crisis line
    Ask her to call suicide line and speak to someone on how you are feeling
    distract and take your mind of everything for a while
    Go to the hospital and explain your circumstances and see what they suggest.
    Wait till you you see a pysch on Monday.

    As for her husband he needs to know that she is this depressed and needs help you don't need to go into depth but just explain that your keeping an eye on and if she gets any worse your taking her to hospital. But really if you scared for her, suggest you look after her pills and keep anything harmful away from her.
  3. sparksman

    sparksman Banned Member

    I don't want to seem like I'm nitpicking you because I agree with almost everything you said and it came from a good place. However I'm going to throw out a warning to not call the husband if he is fighting a war he is going through similar depressions and the one thing he has as a safe haven to think about is his wife back home. If he finds out she is depressed it could mess with his mind in battle which I don't have go into details but lets just say she would be a lot more depressed if her depression somehow led to a loved one being hurt. However I do understand the mindset of call everyone and try to get her some help.