My Friend the Exacto Knife

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Austere Night, Aug 30, 2008.

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  1. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    About half an hour ago I started cutting myself with an exacto knife and I can't seem to stop. I've never really cut myself before, but I've always bit myself before.

    Now both my arms look like hell and my hands are getting cold. I guess the coagulation is limiting blood flow. There's no way I could hide this come morning, and I don't want to. I guess I'm back off to the hospital.
     
  2. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Smart, go to the hospital.

    Apply direct pressure to the wound. And wrap with sterile gauze.
    Try to keep your arms above the heart, and limit movement. Getting someone to drive you to the hospital, or calling EMS would be best.

    If you start feeling cold, you might be going into shock (depending on blood loss). If you suspect shock, keep yourself warm (maintain your core temperature) and elevate your legs 6-12 inches relative to your body (lie down).
     
  3. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    No, I'm just barely breaking the skin. Blood is minimal.
     
  4. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Well, if you're arms are cold, check the pallor of the skin. If it's going white, it means there isn't adequate circulation, and you need to go to the hospital.

    If it's just surface wounds, I would suggest antibiotics, bandaids, etc.

    But go to a hospital just to be safe :)
     
  5. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    I wasn't planning to go to the hospital because of the cuts, I was planning to go because there is no way I could hide this. I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty informed about first aid. My arms will be fine. The last thing I want now is to lose the ability to use my arms. I've lost enough tonight.
     
  6. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    You okay? Want to talk?

    Ahh, people noticing right?
    Long sleeves my friend. Long sleeves.
    And pantaloons!
     
  7. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    I don't care if they see. I just don't care anymore. If they wish to think less of me for it, I don't care to be friends with them anyways. If they wish to think me crazy for it, they're right.

    Do I want to talk? I don't know. I keep seeming to come back here, so apparently I do.
     
  8. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Well, more like.
    Parents or friends noticing and sending you to the hospital.
    Or being "compelled" to talk about it when you don't want them to.
    *shrugs*

    What do you want to talk about?
     
  9. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    Both of the two people I call friend are blissfully asleep, but I sent them an email, one thing out of the way. As soon as my mother wakes, I'll show her my arms, she'll gasp and ask - hoping that the cat attacked me - if I did that. I'll say yes, we'll get in the car and I'll be at the hospital about fifteen minutes and countless tears later.

    If anybody else that sees me wants to talk, I'll engage them or say "What's it to you?" depending on whom they are and how I feel.

    What do I want to talk about? I don't know. We have global catastrophes, personal catastrophes, how nice my mothers garden is coming in, but that's not any real consolation.
     
  10. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    How about calling them? Or you don't want to bother them?

    I don't know. Maybe you should wake her up. The sooner you get help, the smaller the scars will be (generally). Idk, do you pull the cat's tail often? :p

    Well, I don't expect random people to just approach you and start talking. I would ignore them anyways - who the hell does that? Even if you didn't have cuts on your arms.

    Hm, I don't know either. Maybe how you're feeling, or why you felt like self-injuring. *shrugs* Or something completely random. I don't really mind.
     
  11. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    If I called one, I'd get their angry grandmother wondering who the hell I am. If I called the other, I'd get his mother that know who I am and would immediately do... I don't know what.

    Really, I'm not thinking any further than tommorow morning. Whatever the kids I school say or think when/if I get back I'll deal with then. Last time, when I didn't even feel as bad as I did now and had no self-inflicted wounds I was there for two months.

    Why am I doing this? I really don't know. I think it's so I'll feel something else. I need some other feeling to take away from my depression. Really, though, I know no good will come of this, but that hasn't stayed my hand yet.
     
  12. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Why am I doing this? I really don't know. I think it's so I'll feel something else. I need some other feeling to take away from my depression.

    Still cutting? aww :(

    Hm, angry friends' relatives. Haha, never fun to deal with.

    Yeah, fuck them. They aren't important (kids at school).

    It's usually helpful to me, when I feel like self-injuring, to do something that pulls me away. For me, it's speeding around in circles, drifting corners, and getting an adrenaline rush. Pets are better though, in my opinion. Stroke your kitteh :). Hmm, porn is also nice. Going to sleep also helps, because when you wake up, you'll be a bit more stable (depressed, but stable). I still hope you'll wake up your mom so she can see you need EMS or not :S
     
  13. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    All the wounds don't need anymore treatment than my body is already giving it naturally.

    It's 4:30AM and the only pass times I have are sitting here or lying in bed uncomfortably waiting for sleep I'll never get. I'll just sit here.
     
  14. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Ever try taking sleeping pills (only a regular dose) and then jacking off? Either way, you win :D
     
  15. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    Well, I've grown tolerant to all the sleeping meds, prescribed or otherwise, and I'm really not in the mood.
     
  16. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Hm, so what are you going to do then? In between now and sleep? Pet the cat? Day dream?
     
  17. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    Oh man. Suddenly I know that I've fell over the cliff of insanity. The adrenaline or endorphins or whatever it is cutting would cause the body to release has gotten me something I didn't expect but I'm really glad came. For some reason I can't stop laughing. I'm thinking about how horrible this is, but I keep laughing. I'm not bipolar, but maybe I've just suddenly clicked into it. Or perhaps it is the adrenaline.
     
  18. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Haha, adrenaline!

    When I get really sleepy, I act the same way, and laugh for no reason :D
    My friend too.
    But you can still function, which is fun.
    Omg, getting that way myself, blah, stupid 442 am. It's too... 442ish D:
     
  19. Austere Night

    Austere Night Well-Known Member

    Oh, it seems we are in the same timezone. My arms look like something Freddy Kruger might do - Ok, not that bad actually - and I'm laughing. Wow. Life is fucked up.
     
  20. monkeypunchluff

    monkeypunchluff Well-Known Member

    Haha, yes it is.

    My sunburn is hiding my scars, lol. I'm happy.

    It's fun yawning and laughing at the same time, lol.

    Want to come join the chat thingy?
     
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