My Friend

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Rosenguil, Jul 26, 2009.

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  1. Rosenguil

    Rosenguil New Member

    This probably isn't the right place to post this, and I'm really sorry, but a lot of stuff came out tonight and I'm really worried about my friend and I don't know where to turn.

    This isn't a hypothetical "friend" who's really me, this is someone I've been best friends with since the age of eight, who has a lot of reasons to be very upset right now. Her mother was told she had six months to live about nine years ago, so she's been living in fear of her mother's death a long time, and she loves her to pieces (as most people do). She's also diabetic so she has a lot of stress and trouble to deal with in her own life without the added pressure of a mother with cancer. She started drinking and smoking regularly a couple of years ago, and I mean proper chain smoked and getting completely hammered at any occasion. She's calmed down a bit in the past few months, only smoking a couple of times a week, and still getting hammered when she's out, but not going out as often as she used.

    Thing is, we were out tonight, not at a pub or club or anything, just at a small quiet place, and she started drinking. A lot. Behind our backs. And she was very loud, so we were getting a little embarrassed to be seen with her, and then she started crying, so we had to take her to the bathroom, and after a while of crying and spilling things and just being in overall hysterics, she told us that her dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer.

    So she really has a lot to deal with, and she confessed to me after we left, still in her messy drunken state, that she didn't want to go home because her mam would see that she'd been crying and the last time she attempted suicide she'd been put under 24-hour surveilance. It threw me a bit because I hadn't known she had been suicidal before. I'd suspected it, but it had been at a time when we weren't as friendly as we are now. She even told me the reason she smokes and drinks so much is because she wants to die as soon as possible, and she doesn't care about her life anymore.

    Anyway, I'm terrified that she'll try something, and I really don't know what to do, I've never dealt with this before. And it's not like she doesn't have a completely valid reason for it, we can't just tell her everything will be alright when we all know the odds are it wont be. She's supposed to be going out to a birthday party tomorrow, but I'm going to try to convince her to watch a movie or something instead, and I took her lighter tonight so she wont be smoking, but I'm really afraid to leave her alone too long, while at the same time I know she's the kind of person who gets worse when she's surrounded by people.

    Please, if anyone can help or give me any sort of advice, it would mean so much to me :sad:
  2. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    The right thing to do would be to tell an authority you think your friend is suicidal. The best place for her right now may be a psych ward so she can get help with her suicidal thoughts.
  3. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    I am not qualified to give advice.All I can say I hope you take her to AA.She will not be able to handle anything else in her life if she IS or is becoming alchoholic.
  4. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    You need to tell her what you fear for her. Tell her that you are really concerned about her safety. And tell her that she needs to find some help. Then also tell her you will help her in finding that help. Try geting her to a therapist or even her family doctor for now. But she does need some professional help hun. You have and are doing all you can... being her friend and being concerned about her. Even suggest she try and attend some support groups for people with or who family that have cancer. It can be such an unburdening for her to just be able to share her fears and feelings with others that understand them. But please keep being her friend through it all. She really needs you right now. She is lucky to have someone like you in her corner hun. Good luck.
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    If someone tells the authority that im suicidal, and if i go to psych ward, i will make sure i wont go back next time im out, which means i will definitely kill myself as soon as possible.
  6. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    The hope is though that they get the help they need. I am just saying what I would do if I knew a friend was suicidal. I would want to help them. Obviously my advice jumps a bit ahead. I would personally first, talk with your friend and assess how suicidal they are, etc.
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