My friends turning away from me: Is this normal?

[wibble]

Right, quick question.

Just recently, none of my so called friends actually seem to bother with me, they all seem to have firmly disappeared up their own collective arses.

For example, my friends at work, few of them speak to me in passing except for the obligatory "morning" and "bye". One girl I was very close to has got a new job, yet insists on making a point of standing in my way most mornings and saying "dont speak to me today, I'm going to be really busy". Another took a job I was applying for sneakily, the others just seem to blank me or only speak to me when they need something doing.

My friends in my hobby, Warhammer (toy soldiers if it really matters) only bother with me when they actually want things like spare bits or me to paint something. None of them actually seem to have time just to hang out or go for something to eat or do something fun. When I suggest this, I never get anywhere.

My friends where I live. Well I dont have any, I'm pretty much a shut in.

So I dunno. My mum says its all my fault and that I naturally drive people away because my personality is horrible. Personally, I think theres something fundamentally wrong with me on a genetic level people can't get past.

My question is, what the fuck is going on and how do I stop it? Am I that ugly and disgusting no one even wants to be near me?

 

[Acy]

wibble,

:hug:

My mum says its all my fault and that I naturally drive people away because my personality is horrible.

:ohmy: Is your mum always so "encouraging"? [sarcasm] What a mean thing to say to someone, especially your own offspring!

First, let's look at some positives about you. You've got a job. You have interests outside of work. You're good at painting the models/soldiers and other people like the way you do it. You've been able to talk to people and make friends before.

So, that brings us to what's happening now. Have there been issues like job-security at work? Are people extra busy these days? Sometimes people get preoccupied with worries about job-security or the amount of work on their plate and they shut out other people and just do their work.

Also, I know that if I feel down, sometimes people do leave me alone a bit more...not that they don't care, not that I'm a bear to be with, but because they think I want privacy. I guess I just give off funny vibes if I'm really down. Could that be happening with you?

If you are especially close to this one girl, perhaps you could just ask her what's going on. Feeling closed out as you do can make us more and more antsy and feeling more and more excluded...And if others are interpreting that to mean you want to be alone...Hmmm, I think I'd talk to her.

In the meantime, remember your positive qualities :smile:.

:hug:

A.

 

[dreamachine]

what! your mom is crazy.

there is nothing inherently wrong with your personality. sometimes we do things (or at least i know i do) that end up pushing people away but i don't notice that that's what i'm doing at the time. i don't want to push them away, but stuff happens. if you do this, that doesn't mean you have a horrible personality. it just means that perhaps you have some intimacy or relationship issues that maybe need to be worked out, but that can be fixed.

another thing is that maybe it has literally nothing to do with you. i know it sounds like an awful coincidence but other people have problems too of course, and maybe they just have to leave the relationship in order to help themselves.

 

[WildCherry]

I totally agree with what Acy had to say, but I just wanted to add that that's a pretty harsh thing for your mum to say. Does she treat you like that often?