My fucked up dreams

[Butterfly]

My dreams always consist of violence, being ill or being violently raped. I don't know why. I am not a violent person, I am not ill and I've never been violently raped.

Why do I keep having these dreams? What do they mean?

 

[poisonedresistance]

Dreams are hard to interpret and people who say they can interpret usually cant, those who truley can know there are so many different meanings it would be hard to put you into a box. Do you enjoy the dreams? do they scare you,,, ask yourself how you truly feel when they happen

 

[Butterfly]

Some of the dreams where I am violent I enjoy. I am usually beating the living shit out of people I hate who have hurt me a lot. I did however have an extremely violent dream where I murdered a guy who took advantage of me when I was 13. It was very violent and quite disturbing and I was disturbed by it for a while afterwards.

I have also had lots of violent dreams where people have been wanting to kill me and I am always running away from them. These people are random people, people who I have never met or ever known.

Last night I had a very disturbing dream. I wasn't in it or anything, but it was of a brother molesting his sister. It really upset me. I am getting sick of these fucked up dreams.

I also have a lot of dreams where I just randomly collapse. They are dreams of things ike being at uni or out and about and I just collapse and faint in them.

I want them to stop. I am having these dreams every night and I find them really disturbing.

 

[poisonedresistance]

I know this seems like age old advice as everyone here will tell you therapy will help but have you ever heard of GEA its guided effective imagry,, im having it at the moment for my nightmeres and they are really helping me to not only disance myself from them and the feelings they cause but to gain some perspective on what they mean. dreams are so personal.

 

[Butterfly]

I've never heard of GEA. I am supposed to be having therapy but I haven't heard back from them and it's been over 6 weeks. And I think now I need it more than over

 

[poisonedresistance]

Ive found it really helpfull. it isnt that expensive here £20 for a session which isnt bad i dont know how many dollars it would be there though, might be worth looking into though.

 

[Butterfly]

I'm in the UK. I can't afford to pay for anything right now

 

[poisonedresistance]

Ow lexi,,, i wish i could help we are in the same boat. I only qualified as a therapist last year and i still need supervision even with GEA. ive another 3 months of supervision before i can get insurance and practice on my own. one of the stipulations of qualification is undergoing the therapy yourself so im putting it to good use.
If it were 3 months later id offer to do it myself xx

 

[Butterfly]

That's so sweet Amy. Thank you

 

[poisonedresistance]

I hope you find a way to deal with these nightmeres, i really do understand i have absolutely crushing ones that are vivid but are about my past,, the need for a decent nights can become so overwhelming ive even resorted to a few drinks to knock me out,, definitly not the way to go though, I need something that wont damage my liver and give me yet another crutch i recon,, see how the therapy works out,, problem is its such a long slow process and i want instant answers x

 

[Butterfly]

I just want everything to stop and I am feeling very unsupported by the health service. I can't fault my GP she is brilliant, but I'm just stuck here in this hole with things getting worse

 

[poisonedresistance]

what have you tried at the moment to help?

 

[Butterfly]

At the moment I am seeing my GP who is trying to support me through this but I don't think it's enough. I've been to A&E with suicidal thoughts and was supposed to be referred to a counselling service but this was like 2 months ago now so I've had nothing except anti depressants which aren't working

 

[poisonedresistance]

yerh they just cloud your thoughts and im sure they make your sleep worse as your brain makes sense of the day doesn't it when your asleep. what about meditation or music while you drift off i use this playlist from enya
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvOe...y&list=PL212BA11DDB850C09&index=2&playnext=12