I am through it, I am now plagued by nightmares of my attempts, now that my life is going on track, I am happy, my wonderful sister is finding happiness so I am happy and now my own life is working out....... I dont diserve this, not after giving myself up for dead so many times, how many times I cut, cried about my life or attempted to kill myself...... I dont diserve this wonderful life I have.... I dont know what to do, should I just fuck it up again...... its easy to do it but I dont want to... I can look at myself in the mirror again and not feel ashamed or sick to my stomach, now that things are working out I feel sick to my stomach thinking why the fuck do I diserve this after what I have done hell I am not even fucking sure why I am writing this or if swearing is against the rules or anything if it is I apologize but yeah well thats it.. my brother is still making my life a living hell I keep realizing nothing really has changed, my life is still the shitty one it used to be.... maybe its just because I think after all this maybe just maybe my sister can have some room in her heart for a fucked up soul like me hell the only reason I am alive right now is because she gave a fuck when no one else did and she still does, maybe for her if not anything else I should try put the peices of my life back together.... get some shitty glue and call it my life.... i am not a rich man but i have a rich life of tosa's and other idiots but in the end I have my sister and my mum well yeah im going now thats it ah bye