So over the past couple of weeks I have realized something. I have plenty of constructive excuses to keep me busy until my cat dies. Plenty of excuses to keep me from having to suffer through going out and meeting people in a pointless attempt to obtain friends or significant others. The first is my fitness. Right now I have the excuse of saying that I do not have the physique that I want. Given that I have plenty of extra skin from being fat I doubt I ever will. However, I do know that if I ever get my physique to where I want it to be. I can always say I am not where I want to be fitness wise. I can always come up with some kind of excuse. Like I want to be able to do 10 overhead squats at my body weight or I want to be able to bench press my body weight 5 times or I want to be able to run a 6.5 minute mile. There are endless goals I can set for myself. Lots of fitness and physical training is required to be able to do the first two goals. So I have plenty to lie about. Next is my website, I can say that having my website is important to me, and takes up a lot of my time. I want to make sure my website is good and has plenty of information for others. I want to help the anime community by making sure they have a good website to go too. Even then I can say that I need to redesign the site so I can make it run faster and require less work. Plus this will help me with my career. I can try out new programming ideas on my website to stay ahead of the curve. Finally there is cosplay. I can say that making a good cosplay is something that is important to me as an anime fan. If my costume looks like crap when bother with it? Making a good cosplay requires lots of time and effort. It will also help improve my creative and artistic skills. If I cannot have a good cosplay why even go to anime conventions? So as everyone can see I am FAR beyond help. I have a nice triangle prison that I have set up. All three of these are things that will improve me in some way shape or form. No one would ever say that I am going over board with them. All of my reasons are perfectly reasonable. I am not addicted to any one of them. Because if I was truly addicted to one of them I would not have time for the other. Plus I have become REALLY good at lying to my family about how life is great and I am doing just fine. None of them see me rotting away into nothingness. Plus with my kitty being so old and having a few health issues... well she won't be around for much longer. Most definitely not enough time for me to reach my fitness goals, website goals, and make good cosplay. So I will just rot and then die. I only hold any sentiment to my cat right now. I could care less about my family. I know my sister is lying to me when she says I will be missed. No one misses the person who's very presence makes it awkward to be in the room. She can lie to herself all she wants. However, if some kind of memorial were to be held.. people would just stand up there and talk about.. well they would not have anything to talk about. THey would all cry because they are supposed to cry.. nothing more. Now all that is left is to try to not hope my cat dies soon.