My girlfriend (let's call her R) and I are a very loving couple. We were best friends before we starting dating, so that deep connection is still there. I'm also a girl. We're both bisexual. After we became lovers, the title of "best friend" for R fell to a guy she met three years after me (let's call him C). He's a Catholic, but is tolerant and understanding of our relationship. I consider him to be my friend as well, though he is impossibly irritating. He suffers from depression and other mental and emotional problems, and is messed-up with medications. R is not stable, either. Well, a few days ago I got the guilt-racked C to confess with R's permission. Apparently they had somehow decided that C's problems could be held at bay. Sexually. She had been masturbating for him over the phone, and they had a plan to get a condom and have sex if things got bad. All behind my back. The other day, they tried to carry out their condom plan, but his mother was home, so they headed to the park. They didn't have sex there, but he touched her in ways that only I have. R swears it was consensual, whereas C says that it wasn't and that he forced her to do it. When I heard the news, I laughed. I don't know if it was because of the shock, or if I was just blocking out my emotions, or if I was trying to shrug it off so as not to cause C or R any more pain. But now it hurts. I keep acting like nothing happened and I don't care, but I can't get over it. It feels like she cares more about him than me. I already have major trust issues, so I expected something like this to happen someday, but this feels like too much. Now C is threatening self-mutilation, which makes R very worried. I wonder what would happen if I did the same. I posted all of that last part on Yahoo Answers, but nothing anyone said helped. They all told me to leave R, but I don't really have anyone else. She was the only person I really trusted, and I don't know who to turn to. C was the only other friend who's really talked to me all summer. And C and R don't even go to my school. My friends from school have pretty much forgotten about me, aside from an e-mail from one of them. And not one of them really knows anything about me. Last night I tried talking to my mother about it. She doesn't know about me and R, so I had to tell her like my story was that of some book character. She felt sorry for the character but was pretty much no help at all, though I know she means well. She's been dealing with her own problems lately, which makes me feel abandoned and like I have to support myself. She cried and I had to hold her and comfort her, even though I felt like crying myself. Me and R's anniversary is on the 28th. I see her the next day. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep the charade up. I feel like everything's fake and will all fall apart soon enough. The whole thing makes me sick. I've had emotional problems all my life, and I don't know if I can make it through this. I feel like I'll either come out dead or dead inside. How do I pick up the pieces?