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My girlfriend got suicidal last night

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jmh8181, Dec 4, 2007.

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  1. jmh8181

    jmh8181 New Member

    I've never dealt with this before. We were talking through IM (we're hundreds of miles apart right now). She was sharing pictures of herself, and I told her, "When it comes to pictures of you I want to see them all!" She started feeling ugly and talked about how she was a bad person and how much happier everyone would be without her. She said she was going to leave and it would be better this way. (She had never talked like this before.) I tried to call her, she said sorry, and hung up the phone. Later she came back on IM. I asked her if I could call her, and she told me, "If you want to, but I've already taken a bottle of pills, so I'll probably fall asleep soon."

    I was torn: I should call her parents, I should call someone. And yet I didn't have access to another phone and at this point I thought leaving her might be even more dangerous. I don't know. I tried to help however I could, but I didn't know what I was doing. She sounded so calm and at peace with her decision... if she were hurt, I could comfort her, but what could I do with someone who thinks this is just "right"? Who's dissociating and sounds on the surface more at peace than hurt? There was nothing she wanted to talk about. The part of her that might have questioned this decision even a little bit just didn't seem to be there.

    When I read tips for being present for people who are suicidal, a lot of them don't seem right. If she doesn't want to talk about anything, and probably doesn't feel anything except this illusion that she's doing the right thing, then what is there to listen to? I can express concern but she'll say "it will be better this way, you'll see." If I reaffirmed that I was listening to her -- "you think you're a bad person..." -- she'd likely just say, "Oh, I'm so happy! You understand!"

    I said her name a few times, and she told me to stop. I kept saying her name. Finally she said my name a couple times. She told me she had to go. I asked where. She said she was going to the bathroom to vomit, and I told her I'd be here when she got back.

    When she got back, she was back to herself. She apologised and knew how scary that must have been for me. She thanked me for being with her. And yet... it was just luck that I was able to pull her out of it enough to get her to go into the bathroom... if it happened again, I have no idea how to talk to her. What can get through...?

    She told me this was very unusual: she'd been suicidal in the past but it had never come on so quickly. Also she had never told anyone before; this time she told me. She also told me afterwards that it might sound really odd but it felt like a healing experience, something that was sort of meant to happen, though she wasn't sure yet why. I wonder if anyone else has felt this way...

    I hope this doesn't happen again...
  2. blues-player

    blues-player Member

    Hi there can be nothing more painful than to have someone you care about say they are
    not just feeling suicidal but have taken a bottle of pills.
    You say you have no idea of what to say if this happened again.
    But whatever you said must have helped her feel supported and not feel alone.
    All you can do is to let her know as Im sure you do what you think and feel about her.

    She did thank you for being with her although many miles apart and hopefully
    she will remember that there is someone who cares enough about her.
    You too take care and if you need to talk some more please post again.
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    I want to thank you as well. You did what would be so hard for so many others. You never gave up. Thank you for being such a terrific person.
  4. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    yes thank you for not giving up on your girlfriend. thats good great....
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