My glorious failures

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by promontorium, May 27, 2007.

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  1. promontorium

    promontorium Active Member

    The first time I resolved to die, I had who I call "The only woman I've ever loved." waiting for me to call her back after I threw my phone at my wall. I had just got done listening to her laugh at me while I begged her to tell me why she would betray me. I grabbed my badass Kyocera ceramic knife, and my Spyderco. I slashed once at my wrist with the Spyderco, and thought better of the situation. Besides, I hadn't even had the chance to yell at my love, so I called her back instead.

    Second time I came close was inspired by her again. Though a much different situation. I had an M-14, and put a bullet in the chamber and stuck the barrel in my mouth. It was very awkward. I had tool playing in my ear. It would have been awesome. I even had managed to scrawl a shitty suicide note. But alas, I bitched out. No one saw me, so I didn't tell anyone.

    Third time I had a much better plan. My friend told me about how one of his co-workers had put a bag on his head and killed himself through asphyxiation. I bought all the shit I needed, went into my room. Wrote an awesome last will and even signed it. I also wrote another shitty suicide note. Then I wrapped a garbage bag around my head, and taped it up. I spent so much time taping it that I was out of O2 by the time I was done. I laid down for about 5 minutes. My mind began rushing. My lungs began to hurt in a way I've never felt. It's not like holding your breath. It's a pain of lungs tiring. I couldn't help but breath insanely fast. My head started to hurt next. A bad headache began forming. I was getting pissed. If this didn't work, I would lose a lot of brain cells, if it did work, I certainly wasn't losing consciousness any time soon. So I called it off. Too much pain. I don't suggest anyone follow these paths. They suck. They hurt. They're messy.
  2. underdosed

    underdosed Guest

    im sorry. that all sounds very hard. this women seems like a jerk if she doesnt care how much she hurts you. i hope you are able to beat this and find a reason for living that isnt teathered to someone else. thats what im [failing] with right now
  3. SeemsPerfect

    SeemsPerfect Guest

    I think you can do much better than that girl. I dated someone like that once and that break-up was definitely for the best (of course, few of us think like that at the time). I hope you find a special woman that makes you forget all about the one you can do without.

    I didn't know asphyxiation was that painful. I always thought you'd slide into unconsciousness relatively pain free. Guess not. Wow.

    I'm glad you're still w/ us. Hope things turn around and get better for you.
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