My goal for 2008: To gradually phase myself out of mainstream society

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by emptytank, Jan 1, 2008.

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  1. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    One way or another, I will not be here at the end of this year. I will either be dead or away from civilization. I went all out in 2007 and am as miserable as ever. I never had the ability to attract a female in this shallow society and there is no motivation for me to continue living as a corporate slave. I won't put up with being a virgin in my late-20s (I'll be 26 next year) and I have ZERO tolerance for seeing girls with complete douchebags (I can tell they are just by looking at them). I dare anyone who says "Love/romance/sex isn't everything" to go the next 25 1/2 years without. I bet you can't.
     
  2. D3ath

    D3ath Well-Known Member

    I never been any good at making things come out the right way, so please forgive me if my comments does the opposite of any good.

    I myself am a virgin, however personally i see it as waiting for that one day where the right person will come along. In my view a persons viriginity is the most meaningful thing to give some one you love. Being a virgin isnt easy i know, however for some reason most people see it as something to be ashamed of, when its not its something you can be proud of.

    Too many people regret losing their virginity at the wrong time with the wrong person. Physical contact such as sex isn't as important as the person your sharing it with. Just hold in their, that one day will come.
     
  3. emptytank

    emptytank Active Member

    The problem is: That right person hasn't come around and I am not going to wait until she is finished screwing her umpteenth guy before deciding to "settle down" and find a sucker to pretend to love while still having feelings for her player ex-boyfriends. Lately, I have been thinking about the saying "there is someone for everyone" and how inaccurate it is. Statistically, there are more males born than females. And then there are douchebags who will have relationships with several females at a time, thereby reducing the number of available females in the dating pool. There are other factors as well, but I will not list them because I know my stating these self-evident truths will offend certain people/groups and I don't have the energy to engage in another flame war.

    I have strengthened my resolve to the point where I finally have the courage to leave everything behind. The signs are crystal clear and, baring an absolute miracle, I will be beginning a new life of solitude and self-sufficiency in the spring. Of course, I will have a rope handy in case I wish to take matters into my own hands.
     
  4. CF&M

    CF&M New Member

    Dude, I'm a virgin and 23 years old. I'm not exactly the face of a bag of chips either, I'm shit hot! Infact, I'd do me if I could. But the offer never comes around because I never go out seeking for it, I just don't care that much for relationships nor am I in the stable condition to even hold one, are you? So I would never top myself over that matter. Nor should you.

    Go have a wank. :laugh:
     
  5. felodese

    felodese Member

    im confused on why you are angry with a shallow society while you are judging people by their looks? i am not trying to be rude, i am just confused on what you are angry with? your self or everyone else?

    and i honor people who have kept there virginity for so long as i do wish i kept mine, instead of giving it to the girl who tore my heart apart
     
  6. lfdy

    lfdy Active Member

    i just have to reply. you are all so lucky to still have your virginity.i would give anything to have mine back. i was raped when i was 12 and had that precious gift stolen from me. i could never get it back to give away to the one i loved. maybe being a woman i am a romantic, but there really is nothing more precious than you keeping yourself and giving yourself to someone you truelly love. it is too complicated for me to write anymore. just keep yourself special for that someone special. it will save so much heart ache later in life. just ignore this post. i am crashing again. too much wine and feeling sentimental!!!
     
  7. pillowperson27

    pillowperson27 Active Member

    love and romance isn't even anything.
     
  8. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    It isn't everything when you have experienced it - you come to that realization. But atleast you have experienced it and can come to that conclusion. Others aren't so lucky. Romance/sex is a big deal when you aren't having any, and haven't had any for a long time.
     
  9. eviler

    eviler Guest

    I'm 24 years old, I've never been able to get into a relationship at all. I've had sex a couple of times and dated a few girls for brief moments (only over the net). I've been dumped everytime after the first date, they just send me a text message coming up with some excuse or something.

    I set my standards lower still, going out with women who were obsese and had really no real redeeming qualities, even they saw right through me and dumped me right away. I became so desperate that I tried homosexuality, thinking that maybe I was a homosexual as I couldn't get the attention of women at all.

    I have used a lot of illegal drugs in the past to boost confidence and I've managed to pull a few really drunk women at nightclubs. I'm the guy of whom they really regret ever being with.

    I haven't had any relations with women for over 2 years now, no kisses, no interests, no proposals, nothing.

    Every woman i've set my desires on has ended up with one of my friends.

    It has driven me completely insane, it is the soul reason for me feeling so utterly terrible nearly all the time. I sometimes really don't know what to do about it. Everything I've clutched at is merely momentary, the women of whom I've been involved with in the past have merely done it because they were so drunk.

    The thing is, it's a catch 22 situation. You think and feel terrible all the time and you look terrible nearly all the time. Whether you like it or not, people who are dwelling on their problems don't look at all desireable.

    You have to completely abstract positively upon what seems utterly impossible, in schools we're taught actively about how we're all basically agressive godless animals constantly seeking to better our genes through offsprings. This isn't the way the world works entirely. There are hideously obsese, damn right ugly, midgets, disabled and disfigured people out there who have no problem with forming relations with people out there.

    I'm still in the early stages of trying to overcome my problems to be fair, and still I feel very suicidal and terribly depressed most of the time. However I've made some progresses, allbeit, momentary flings often ending in very poor results but nevertheless there has been some positive results, for instance actually having sex.

    The world is a cruel place, it is entirely based on fear of their not being enough for everyone, so everyone unconciously puts out negative messages to other people saying "don't bother, you'll never get" purely because they have an installed belief about that in order for them to pervail, others must suffer and fail greatly.

    This is taught in schools in a covert manner, it is widly preached in magazines, on television, in films, all over the media. It is a widely shared belief amongst peers, promoting an agressive attitude to each other. The simple fact is that it is just NOT true.

    You can come out with loads of facts about evolution, surivival of the fittest, selfish genes, bullying and whatever. Yes, you can see it being actively applied and happening right infront of your eyes, but take a closer look, look at everything and become aware that it is NOT the golden rule to life.

    I'm manic, not that I'm bipolar, but I believe both stories at the moment, on the one hand my life has been fucking painful and all around me there are very negative signs, however on the other hand I have made some progress. I have achieved some positive things and challenged a few beliefs.

    I'm certainly nowhere near a desired state of well being, but I am constantly trying to abstract positively, it doesn't always work and I do feel terrible about 50% of the time.

    Although I must say, if you try to run when having never ran before, you can only manage a few minutes before you feel utterly terrible. Life is like that, you always feel terrible and awful, until you reach the top of the hill.

    Like I said, I'm still in the shit but I've definately made some progress in life, nothing compared to most normal people, but then again I never came from a normal background at all. I suffered every kind of abuse imaginable when I was younger and it really tainted me.
     
  10. aqaq22

    aqaq22 Well-Known Member

    It's not what you think it'll be...the leaving society part, I mean. I'm there now. It causes more pain, not vise-a-versa.

    I don't know your circumstances. Personally, I've so isolated now, that the pain of the isolation has caused me to want to be w/ someone more than ever. That, in turn, is causing me to change into a person who is trying, and doing things, that I've never done before. ie, when I talk w/ a pretty girl, Im taking the unfamiliar apprach of being honest, and open, with them, only because it feels so good to me to try and get to know who they are. It's fun. It's enabling me to decide what I like, or don't like, in them, rather than just hoping "someone will let me love them". It's better this way.

    I've said this before, I've been diagnosed w/ just about every mental condition a human can have, depending on the dr. you talk to. So, it's unlikely I'll be "gettin any" anytime soon. Live long enough, it won;t matter, you'll just want company. Again, be careful what you ask for about "leavin society". It's not worth it. :smile:

    Good luck. Try to relax. Don't think I don't understand the " a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do" either, I do. (and always have) :smile:

    That's why I can offer you the suggestion of being careful what you wish for.

    peace (and, fwiw...I hope you get laid, if that's all your after. It will ease the pain, for a bit anyway, depending on the circumstances, but can also cause more too). :eek:hmy:
     
  11. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Hey Empty, sorry to hear about what you're going through, I cannot say I have been there but I can relate to what you're going through. It is really important that you do not let it make you a bitter person and give you a negatively biased perspective on women. I have been on that train of thought before and I know it is depressing as hell.

    It seems like physical attractiveness plays the biggest part in attracting someone doesn't it? I'm not going to give you the whole confidence rundown because I'm sure you have heard it enough to be sick of it by now but trust me, I've been in that boat before and if there was one thing I could tell you I learned from it, it is positivity. Love, romance and sex are pretty big factors in a healthy and happy lifestyle. There's a saying: "The common denominator in all your dysfunctional relationships is you." A major part of becoming something you aren't is realizing and accepting the fact that you aren't that something right now, that you need to change if you want to become that and actually doing something about it. There is not a woman on the planet who owes you a second of her time, body, admiration or love, you have to earn it. Put yourself in woman's shoes, would you want to date you?
     
  12. LostMyMind

    LostMyMind Well-Known Member

    I'm 26 years old and wish I was still a virgin. I had sex with only one person but that person didn't love me like I loved her. I hope you meet a special someone and have a long and meaningful relationship.
     
  13. NickP

    NickP New Member

    Guys, please keep trying.

    I first read this thread a few days ago when I was feeling very down. The OP's post really hit a chord with me, it was exactly how I felt, except I'm 34 and have been hanging on a lot longer. I'd never had a girlfriend at all.

    Then last night I went out for a drink, and met up with a girl I knew slightly and suddenly everything simply clicked. We had drinks, played pool and before I knew it I was taking her home, where we played records and danced into the small hours. She is only 18 - I just cannot believe it, and 48 hours ago I would have laughed if anyone had suggested I could get a girlfriend like her. I thought it had all passed me by, and suddenly I've been given this opportunity.

    However much it hurts, the best thing to do is not to sit at home and mope. Go out, and even if you are 20-something, join up with the young crowd, it will keep you young and make you more optimistic. I won't promise that this will lead to success, but you have got to make yourself available. Go out, be positive, it may not happen, but (hopefully) you will at least have some fun nights. Perhaps, when you think its all gone like I did, someone might just sneak up on you.
     
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