It makes sense now. The reason I always wanted to be a video game designer in the first place was because that's all I had when I was young. I didn't have too many friends. I was far too ugly to be associated with any girls. Seriously, how the fuck do I survive taking 100 pills?! Christ. I don't regret my first suicide attempt. Not one bit. Everything I do in life is thrown right back in my face. I literally hate my parents for having me. No joke. In elementary school, we had the classic "girls chase the boys" games. All the girls would chase and smother the other guys, while I pretended to be chased even though I was pretty much invisible. Sometimes, that's all a little kid needs, is just some peer attention. When you don't get it, it can stick with you for life, and you wish you could go back in time and find a way to get it, but you can't. You just grow older and older without it. I believe I have the world's worst karma. If I like a girl, she hates me for no reason. Seriously, I can't live this kind of life. People say that suicide is selfish. Well, I don't recall asking anyone, "Hey, can I be born?" I'm in an infinite vortex of shit. My life only got more annoying and meaningless after my failed suicide attempt. The longer I live, the more insulted I feel. It's my time to die. Sorry. My parents always tell me how they've had it worse than me. I believe them, but if I were in their shoes, I would've killed myself a long time ago.