my hair is falling out...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Fzu, Jan 28, 2011.

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  1. Fzu

    Fzu New Member

    throughout my whole life I have worked like a dog. I have spent over 4 hours each night studying and 8+ hrs near exams to try to please my parents (they are vietnamese) and i GET NOWHERE.

    I try three times as hard as other people just to even touch were they are, im naturally stupid and have to work extremely hard. I have no hope or future, my parents hate me and since my brother recently died Its down to me to support the family (asian tradition)... i cant do it... im fucking retarded, i get NOWHERE in life.

    Ever since i was 13 i have tried so hard. i cant do it any more, its time to accept the fact that i AM NOTHING, not to mention i have anorexia disorder and insomnia. which makes my life unsociable and a living hell. my hair is falling out and look like a wreck. i just.. . ffs
     
  2. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Hi Fzu, you sound like a very nice person. You are doing your best, so don't worry about what others think. Take sometime to be nice to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Soon you will be out of school and you will be able to do a job you like and you will have your independence. Then you can help your parents in any little way you can. You will not feel like this for the rest of your life. Be good to yourself.

    Stay on here, there are lots of supportive people one here.
     
  3. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Hi Fzu, you sound like a very nice person. You are doing your best, so don't worry about what others think. Take sometime to be nice to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. Soon you will be out of school and you will be able to do a job you like and you will have your independence. Then you can help your parents in any little way you can. You will not feel like this for the rest of your life. Be good to yourself.

    Stay on here, there are lots of supportive people on here.
     
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    .............
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2011
  5. Fzu

    Fzu New Member

    my father had such high expectations for me... i achieved none of them. I have respected him as my idol for as long as i can remember, he worked his way all the way from peasent family to living in europe.

    now my brother is gone... i have no one to talk to. so i am here

    when i was 16... thats when i started to get really depressed - its been growing till this day, having no friends from working what feels like 24/7 in some vain hope I will achieve my goals.

    MY LIFE PLANS AS OF NOW:

    die alone. ambitious for someone like me i know.. considering im thinking about jumping infront of a truck right now...
     
  6. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    Why are you so worried about what parents think of you? Can't you live your life without the shadow of your parent's influence?

    What are you going to do about the depression? Do you take any kind of medication? What were your ambitions before this plan? Er the truck method isn't very good - it might cause the driver to have nervous breakdown or an very nasty accident...I'm sure you wouldn't want that.
     
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    How about you put off jumping in front of the truck for a bit? There will be more :console:

    Instead you could give this place a try. Good folks here who have a great deal of experiences and good heads and hearts.

    I am sorry for the loss of your brother, i know how very difficult that is, especially if he is the one you were able to share with. How long ago did you lose him? :hug:

    Did something happen when you were 16?

    I understand trying to live up to your father's expectations for you. Sounds like he did a great job. Might be best if you can come up with some realistic expectations for yourself, but maybe be gentle on you. Sounds like you are working so very hard? Can you take a little break or take a bit of time to do something for yourself? It's ok to do things for yourself once in a while.

    Hey, I don't think you are lacking in the brain department. You write too well for that :hug:

    Could try telling us more about how you are feeling and the things that have been going on in your life. Hope you stick around and perhaps put off the decision about the truck until you've had some time to calm and talk.
     
  8. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    Are you in college now? If you are, is there a counseling center? When I was in college, i used the counseling center and it helped me. If they think you need it, they will prescribe you anti-depressants.

    I know its hard, but you have to try not to bring down your own self-confidence levels. If you keep thinking its bad, it will always be bad. But if you have a little more positiveness (ok, i think i just made up a brand new word. i meant to say positive), you will be a little more hopeful and you may see several new paths to take.

    Do you have a positive goal that you want to achieve?
     
  9. Fzu

    Fzu New Member

    well, i am taking ginseng extract to reduce stress

    [​IMG]

    it doesent matter tho
    ive decided im giving myself a week, if i dont change my mind and find happiness i will die
     
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