My hands... *trigger warning*

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by lightbeam, May 22, 2012.

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  1. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I recently have taken my hands for granted. Everyone says I need them to play chess as well as be on here. But recently my voices have made it apparent that I really don't need them. That I can just do away with them, and life would be fine.

    And so I am confused because the voices are telling me one thing, and everyone else is telling me another. I've seen myself cutting my hands off in a waking dream. Is that what I am supposed to do? Am I really ready to lose my hands?
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I would not trust the voices, lightbeam. You need your hands to play chess and to pet Tommy Tom...Keep your hands. The "waking dream" is just your mind, not real. Keep talking to us until the ideas and voices go away. :hug:
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I agree with Acy. You need to pet Tommy Tom, play chess, talk to me on msn, to eat nachos (omg you need nachos in your life!), to take your meds, to wash yourself, clean your teeth, shower... you need your hands for everything!
  4. oval

    oval Well-Known Member

    well, how would you have it better if your hands were gone? hands are not thaaat necessary but certainly can come in handy lol you wouldn't be able to do lots of important daily things if your hands were gone.
    i sometimes feel like my arms and hands arent part of my body and more pieces of someone's dead body that someone sewed onto me when i wasnt looking. they dont feel like they are mine and sometimes i think what if they had a life of their own and start chocking me to death the next minute. i dont seriously consider cutting them off! its just a thought i play with. i usually pluck them, smack them a little bit or run them over rough surfaces to feel more connected. i have also dreamt (not day dream) about my arms getting amputated.
    anyway, dont cut of your hands. you do need them no matter what your voices are saying. it would make your life very inconvenient.
  5. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    I have so many things coming at me, I can't tell which way is up sometimes. My mom wants us to go for a walk when she gets home... see if we can clear my head. She has no idea that I've been dealing with this specific problem for a month. I've been patient with the voices for that entire month... until a week ago.

    I mean really... does everyone want me to really sever my hands in order to get some professional help...? It seems to me everyone is avoiding the problem. Even the crisis workers I talked to today just gve me two distraction techniques - to watch TV or go for a walk. That won't stop me from doing it either. Let's go ahead and put a nice happy 'He's not crazy really!!!' spin on things.

    God the nerve of some people. What happens when I sever my hands? Do I get to say I told ya so?
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