I just needed to vent some of this shit out here.. I've been going to a IPS (Intention Peer Support) training so I can start working at the Warm Line, a peer support line, after I complete it. So some of the topics can be very triggering.. About Self Harm, Suicide, Foster Care, the Mental Health System, Drug Use, Abuse, etc.. And then I am trying to learn how to communicate with people better.. meaning mutually.. and the purpose is to learn how to learn from each other and see each others "world view" and connect.. Coming from a point of not knowing or assuming they are acting or feeling they way they do.. But all of this and the topics and stories shared have been really messing with my head, how I myself when I get home should communicate with people.. I keep trying to think about how I'm saying things when I can.. And not intentionally.. I feel like it's changing the way I think completely.. And I'm not sure to feel good or bad about it.. On the other this training has brought up a lot of past memories for me and emotions.. That I'm sometimes struggling to deal with.. I at times get urges to go back to self harm and cut myself.. I may end up crying and breaking down and feels as thought I'm lost in my past for a while.. I get internal screams telling me I want to die.. from that past as well.. My anxiety may skyrocket.. And I am getting so frustrated with it.. All the information I am trying to learn.. And all the emotions it is bringing up.. And I'm getting confused.. I just.. I needed to say that.. I just needed I guess ppl to understand where I'm coming from.. If I say something I'm just kinda on edge.. at times want to explode.. And i am needing to vent a LOT lately.. Usually more in person.. But I just.. I feel bad because I feel as thought I've lost my ability to communicate the way I want right now because it's changing.. and I am sorry if I end up hurting anyone.. I'm just trying to work thru all this.. and it's really difficult..