My head

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ouroboros, Jul 11, 2010.

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  1. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    you're ugly...*i look in the mirror*...i am ugly...i'm doing it now...I have a mirror on me all the time...I'm obsessed with looking but hate what I see....can't stop...i'm ugly....don't want people looking....stay away....have to go out tho thats what people want...go out feel scared...take the mirror...keep looking....i'm ugly....theres people watching me...they see the ugly...they're watching...STOP WATCHING....leave me alone :blub: .....humans everywhere....don't like humans.... they watch...they judge...they see the ugly....people say its in ur head....i believe what my head says....what if its real....what if its not 'just in my head'....then I can't get better....I'll be this way until i die....better make it sooner....die now....DIE F*CKING NOW
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Your not ugly. You a beautiful unique human being that is capable of much inner and outer beauty! Some say I am, "Easy on the eyes," so to speak. But I would rather be known for my inner beauty. outer beauty is only skin deep, and if that is all you have to rely on you are lacking. Cheer up! We were each individually made by the combination of the people [our parents] who love eachother. To me that is amazingly beautiful! Blessings..
  3. SaidDave

    SaidDave Banned Member

    Did someone upset you?
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Aw sweetie you are not ugly! :wub: Please dont hurt yourself. :hug:
  5. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    No one upset me... this is how i feel all the time :sad: I try to feel better, some days better than others, but it don't go away. I don't want to feel this way... i can't just cheer up :mad: it don't work like that... you all think i'm shallow now, but thats not what it is, I know the inside is more important but my head just won't shut up abt it, before i was bad I didn't care.
  6. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    OK now someone upset me, why is it that theres some peeps who thnk you can just snap out of it and cheer up? These feelings of suicide aren't something that just washes away with a bit of cheering up or a fucking day down the fuskcing beach :mad: How can people be so flippant and insensitive.

    I hate myself, I hate the fucking world

    sorry for swearing :sad:
  7. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I don't want to be anymore

    Prob gonna spend the next couple days planning again

    I wish I had a gun, I could just shoot my brains out then...really tall bridge or building and some alcohol will have to do.
  8. Trilaque

    Trilaque Member

    Believe me, I have had that moment in the mirror multiple times. I have to ask something, though. What is it that you believe your looks are keeping you from? Looks do very little these days besides entice and destroy.

    Don't worry about what other people say. Ignorance will be their undoing. I have faith that they will learn one day what it is that you are feeling and have felt and that's the day that they will tear themselves apart because they realize that they can't snap out of it. It's just not that easy.
  9. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    I donno what it is about my looks, i just obsessed, i don't wanna be but i am. I'm tired. I wanna hurt myself.... I wanna cut every inch... wanna jump from high and smash to pieces into the ground. I don't want to wake in the morning.
  10. Trilaque

    Trilaque Member

    Okay, okay. If those things weren't an option, if ending yourself wasn't anything you could do or hurting yourself or anything like that, what else could you do to attempt to fix your "problem"?
  11. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    i don't know.. i see doc... i have meds... but there are these days like now, i think abt ending it all the time, its not just looks its the future, people, i'm scared of it all. I'm waiting for mental health team... they too slow
  12. Trilaque

    Trilaque Member

    Life is scary. No two ways about it. But it's also amazing if you make it that way. Ignore the fact that your own mind is rebelling against you. Show it just how much you can buck back. I hope you end up okay, I would hate to lose you, friend.
  13. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    You're kind.. i donno if i can.
  14. Trilaque

    Trilaque Member

    The best thing anyone can do if they don't know, is try anyway.
  15. TheOncomingStorm

    TheOncomingStorm Well-Known Member

    Hannah, i'm sorry you are feeling like this :hug: Always here for you no matter what.
  16. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Ouroboros. I'm sure you're not ugly at all. We're all created unique in the image of God. We're just a combination of the genes from our parents. Also, it's what's inside that counts, looks aren't everything. I don't think that I'm particularly good looking or anything, but I'm comfortable with how I look. :hug:
  17. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Thank you both :hug:

    I also want to apologise... sorry
  18. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    sposed to pick up meds today...
  19. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    If they can help you please pick them up, I have the same problem I cannot do it somedays in fact I am of mine now and It does not help, you need to do everything you can to give yourself a chance and to get you better.
  20. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    Head tells me not to go get them, if i don't go get them then they can't stop me...
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