My head's a mess.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Deathly Strike, Sep 6, 2007.

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  1. Deathly Strike

    Deathly Strike Well-Known Member

    Why must I fuck everything up?

    Can I not have one fucking day where everything goes well, without anything ruining it? I've never done anything to deserve all this fucking shit, and then the big guy up there deals me all this crap. Yeah, cheers God, way to make me fucking feel better. Seriously, I can't remember ONE day where everything has gone how I planned or anything. I constantly cock things up - maybe if I weren't around to do these fucking things in the first place, then everything will be better? Yeah, that sounds too fucking good. I'm SO fucking tempted to do it right now. One mistake and I feel like shit. Well, guess what? I am a mistake! I am shit. I don't deserve to have a fucking place on this fucking planet. WHY CAN'T I GET ANYTHING FUCKING RIGHT FOR A CHANGE?

    I love her. And she hates me. I fuck everything up, and she hates me for it. I don't fucking blame her. She deserves so much better than me. I'm a worthless piece of crap. I have what I need. I have the ammo so to speak. Just ONE more thing to go wrong - and it will - and thats it. Goodbye, sweet world.
     
  2. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    Well, I can only tell you what i have found. When I am outside of God's will, He loves me so much that He makes everything go wrong. It's my fault He has to do that to get my attention. If I were to want to complain to God, I would imagine myself voicing my complaints to Christ as He was hanging on a cross for my sins. Sorry if it sounds like I'm preaching, but that is what I have learned.
     
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