my heads messed up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aimee_in_Wonderland, Oct 5, 2010.

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  1. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    my head feels like its spinning..
    all my thoughts and feelings are mixed into one big web or tangles..
    lies decente..
    im lying to myself..
    they didnt want to help me.
    so this is my only other option

    finding myself at the bottom of a bottle of vodka.. it numbs the pain for a little while..
    i dont remeber much of lastnight,
    sleeping pills and vodka... i must have passed out..
    shame i woke up.

    these past few days have been unbareable.
    i dont want to fight anymore
    i want to die.. i want to be peacful
    i dont want to hurt anymore.

    im selfish,
    but i know i wont be hurting him or my family.
    they hate me.
    they made that clear.
    not worth their time right.
    same as those doctors and nurses.
    they never understood did they...
    they never opend their eyes and saw me..

    they could have saved me..

    too fu!king Late.

    I have met some of the most amazing people here that deserve the best in their lifes.. people who have sufferd for so long but are so strong..
    im proud to say ive talked amoung these people..

    i love all my friends ive made here...

    i wish you all the best..

    this isnt a mistake,
    this is me fixing it.
  2. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    Hey Aimee,

    Do you want to talk? From your post it seems like you haven't had the help from people that you want but there are people who want to talk and who want to help. Reach out again, keep posting
  3. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i cant keep reaching out to be rejected..
    i cant anymore.
  4. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    If you want to talk I'm here, you can talk here or PM if you prefer. There are lots of people here who only want to help or listen if you want to get things of your chest.

    I know it can be difficult to talk sometimes or even try and get your thoughts clear enough to express them but please don't feel like you have no-one.
  5. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i cant not anymore..
    i been putting my problems on other people for too long..
  6. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes it can help to talk to someone who you're not as close to. Someone who can be more objective and isn't so emotionally involved. In the past I found it difficult to talk to people close to me because I don't want to hurt them or feel guilty because I thought I was a burden.

    But if you want to talk to someone objective there's no pressure or restrictions on what you can say. Do you feel like you could call a crisis line and talk to someone there in confidence?

    Sometimes just getting a different perspective or letting your feelings out gives a bit of a release. I'm here if you want to talk.
  7. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    i really cant im out of control now..
    if i was ever in control.

    but thank you for trying to help me..
  8. Kate777

    Kate777 Well-Known Member

    Hun you don't have to thank me, just keep posting. We can talk all night if you need to but it's really important that you get the help you need either from talking to people on here or from another source.

    What's making you feel out of control?
  9. danicarr

    danicarr Member

    Hey I know what it's like to reach out for help and be shunned at every turn, but even if it's easier to deal with things by yourself when you choose to do it for yourself then it is when you're forced to deal with it yourselfm that doesn't mean that you need to give up. Please turn to us, we will be here for you, we understand, and we want to help. Please let us help
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