I'm having the absolute worst morning when it comes to feeling suicidal, and my mother just doesn't understand. Because of how things ended with my father, she has become accustomed to me being her "partner" in getting things done in the house. The only problem with that mindset in recent days is that I've been away for college. Now that I'm back from break, it just seems like she's always pissed off at me for sleeping in, or blows up when I want to do something with my friends or leave the house. Now. I get it. These are honestly the tips of my problems right now, believe me. The problem is I've been getting more and more suicidal over time. Little things are starting to tip me off. Like, the fact that as soon as I left her room, she called out, "You'll never do anything." I don't really need that shit. So, now I've locked myself in my room for the rest of the night because I'm not going to deal with that. I'll ignore food. I'll ignore time. I'll just sit here on my computer and blast music into my ears until morning comes and I can go to work in the morning. The end. And hopefully, one day, I can just end it the way I want to, and I won't have to hide these feelings from anyone. Sorry. I feel like that was more of a rant than an explanation.