my heart flutters when i think about it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by riz, Dec 12, 2007.

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  1. riz

    riz Senior Member

    I'm having the absolute worst morning when it comes to feeling suicidal, and my mother just doesn't understand.

    Because of how things ended with my father, she has become accustomed to me being her "partner" in getting things done in the house. The only problem with that mindset in recent days is that I've been away for college. Now that I'm back from break, it just seems like she's always pissed off at me for sleeping in, or blows up when I want to do something with my friends or leave the house.

    Now. I get it. These are honestly the tips of my problems right now, believe me. The problem is I've been getting more and more suicidal over time. Little things are starting to tip me off. Like, the fact that as soon as I left her room, she called out, "You'll never do anything."

    I don't really need that shit. So, now I've locked myself in my room for the rest of the night because I'm not going to deal with that.

    I'll ignore food.
    I'll ignore time.
    I'll just sit here on my computer and blast music into my ears until morning comes and I can go to work in the morning.

    The end.

    And hopefully, one day, I can just end it the way I want to, and I won't have to hide these feelings from anyone.

    Sorry. I feel like that was more of a rant than an explanation.
  2. RySp123

    RySp123 Guest

    perhaps a time off would do you both some good hun. seems like comprehension and dialog is not existing between the two of you.

    parents are not perfect hun, i wont pretend they are coz i am one. we are human with weaknesses and make lots of mistakes as we are human with imperfection yet dont allow her negative attitude destroy the good in you.

    make your way through and when time comes and you can do it, see to find a place of your own sharing if needed with a feiend the cost of an apt. and move out (that is if you are of legal age of course).

    relationship tend to get better over time once children leave the house and parents get it through that kids are no longer kids to be dictated what to do etc... and see them ore on their level....... as adults to be respected for who they are and what they do (choice made i mean).

    good luck to you and bless your heart

    granny x
  3. incombustible2000

    incombustible2000 Well-Known Member

    yes endofday is very inteligent, and has lot of good advice, I hope that you do not let everything get to you, and work your way to feeling a little better.
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