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My heart is still boken.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Empty Shell, Jul 6, 2011.

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  1. Empty Shell

    Empty Shell New Member

    When I was eighteen I met a girl and fell madly in love with her, six years later we married. We had two children and lived, what I thought, was the perfect family life. This woman was my soul mate, I worshipped the ground she walked on and loved her unconditionally but then seven years ago it all went sour. She had an affair and we divorced, long painful story, I won't bore you with the details. In total we were together for twenty five years.

    In a nutshell my life fell apart. I didn't contest custody of our two children and ended up living on my own although I saw my kids at every opportunity and still do, both are now grown up.

    They say time is a great healer but I'm finding that not to be the case. Losing the woman I adored is like a bereavement but without closure. We both live in the same town, seeing her with another man torures me. The sense of loss and rejection is crushing. I've had relationships but they seem superficial as I don't seem able to give my heart to another woman when it still belongs to my ex-wife. After what she did to me and our family people think I'm crazy to still have feelings for her but true love never dies and mine hasn't.

    I just feel so hollow and empty as if I'm just going through the motions. I've been treated for depression but just can't shake off these feelings of sadness. I have a good friends and even though I can surround myself with people I constantly feel lonely. I've had enough of feeling like this.

    Can anyone relate to my torment.

    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 6, 2011
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Yes I do relate :hug: my pm box is always open if you want to talk further.
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I can relate also.. My ex cheated on me for six years and I was always casting a blind eye to it.. She was my daughters mom..All I wanted was my family..It's been over twenty years since we divorced and I still love her because of my daughter.. I don't let it eat me up..I've had relationships since then but they always cheated also..
  4. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    You may still love her but you deserve to love yourself and not get eaten up by this.
    Has any of your treatment included counselling? That might help you move on - if you want to.
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