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**My Heart**

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#1
I feel like my heart is being torn to bits right now
Caring so much
Thats all i think about
What i dream about
Wishing to be there
To hold
To hug
To make feel safe

Situation so damn similar
Feeling that pain again
Feeling it from someone i never thought i would
Scared to get hurt
But feeling it anyway
Was hurt like this before
The same way
Being made to feel like i've done something wrong
Maybe i have
But how do i know if the person can't talk to me
Shutting me out

Being hurt before nearly killed me
Feeling a million times stronger than i felt before
If this goes on it will kill me
How can i handle feeling hurt like that again?
Simple answer....i can't
I can't get myself back on track knowing their slipping
Slipping and my hand out of reach
Would have to reach some distance to catch them from falling
Would give anything to be able to do that

The sound over and over in my mind
The sight over and over in my mind
Hearing it and not being able to do anything
Seeing it and not being bale to do anything
Feeling like im losing them before my eyes
And i can't do anything about it
Breaks my heart everytime

All i want in this world is for them to be able to talk to me
Recently seems like they can't
The reason for that i'm not sure
Worrying about me?
Afraid to hurt people?
Well you don't need to worry
And you hurt me by not talking to me

Have i done something?
Did i hurt you?
If so how can i fix that?
I felt like i hurt someone before
And this is going the same way
I don't want it to
I can't feel like that again
I just can't

Apart of me feels i need to be out of your life
I feel like i hurt you
It would be best if i was
But i dunno if i can
I care too much
I love too much
I can't walk away and leave you falling
Want to open up my arms and never let go
In order to that you have to open up
Let me in

Are you worried i will hurt you?
Do you think i would do that?
Am i the type of person you fear?
Do i give the impression im gonna hurt you?
Do you trust me?
You say you do
If you trust me why are you shutting me out?
Why?
I feel like you don't trust me atall
Otherwise why has it come to this?

Day by day a piece of my heart floats away
Carried across the ocean to you
You collect every piece
You have a hard grip around those pieces
To hold because you can never let go?
Or to squeeze the life out of me?
Do you enjoy it?
To be honest i don't know

I would do anything for you
Can't you see that?
Would lay down my life for you
Take a bullet for you
Making them happy would of giving my life some purpose

It's never felt so strong
Stronger than before
Scarying me
I open up my heart
Show how i feel
But it's not being recognised
Not being believed
Told 'not to do this to me'

What am i meant to do?
You asked for it
You want honesty
You verbally told me to share it
And i did and i get that reaction
Put me off ever feeling like this again
Forever
What do i do?
What shall i say?

I've tried time and time again
Get knocked back everytime
A small part knocked out of me
Can only take so many of those knocks
They hurt emotionally
Hurt my heart
Leaving a little crack everytime
Eventually it will crumble into pieces
To never be rebuilt again



The highs will make you fly, and the lows make you want to die

I LOVE YOU
 
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LetItGo

Staff Alumni
#6
I think it is beautiful. I could never write anything like that. I think thats what Ester was referring to in her post btw...She was just gobsmacked by the beauty of what you had written.
 
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