**My Heart**

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Marshmallow, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    I feel like my heart is being torn to bits right now
    Caring so much
    Thats all i think about
    What i dream about
    Wishing to be there
    To hold
    To hug
    To make feel safe

    Situation so damn similar
    Feeling that pain again
    Feeling it from someone i never thought i would
    Scared to get hurt
    But feeling it anyway
    Was hurt like this before
    The same way
    Being made to feel like i've done something wrong
    Maybe i have
    But how do i know if the person can't talk to me
    Shutting me out

    Being hurt before nearly killed me
    Feeling a million times stronger than i felt before
    If this goes on it will kill me
    How can i handle feeling hurt like that again?
    Simple answer....i can't
    I can't get myself back on track knowing their slipping
    Slipping and my hand out of reach
    Would have to reach some distance to catch them from falling
    Would give anything to be able to do that

    The sound over and over in my mind
    The sight over and over in my mind
    Hearing it and not being able to do anything
    Seeing it and not being bale to do anything
    Feeling like im losing them before my eyes
    And i can't do anything about it
    Breaks my heart everytime

    All i want in this world is for them to be able to talk to me
    Recently seems like they can't
    The reason for that i'm not sure
    Worrying about me?
    Afraid to hurt people?
    Well you don't need to worry
    And you hurt me by not talking to me

    Have i done something?
    Did i hurt you?
    If so how can i fix that?
    I felt like i hurt someone before
    And this is going the same way
    I don't want it to
    I can't feel like that again
    I just can't

    Apart of me feels i need to be out of your life
    I feel like i hurt you
    It would be best if i was
    But i dunno if i can
    I care too much
    I love too much
    I can't walk away and leave you falling
    Want to open up my arms and never let go
    In order to that you have to open up
    Let me in

    Are you worried i will hurt you?
    Do you think i would do that?
    Am i the type of person you fear?
    Do i give the impression im gonna hurt you?
    Do you trust me?
    You say you do
    If you trust me why are you shutting me out?
    I feel like you don't trust me atall
    Otherwise why has it come to this?

    Day by day a piece of my heart floats away
    Carried across the ocean to you
    You collect every piece
    You have a hard grip around those pieces
    To hold because you can never let go?
    Or to squeeze the life out of me?
    Do you enjoy it?
    To be honest i don't know

    I would do anything for you
    Can't you see that?
    Would lay down my life for you
    Take a bullet for you
    Making them happy would of giving my life some purpose

    It's never felt so strong
    Stronger than before
    Scarying me
    I open up my heart
    Show how i feel
    But it's not being recognised
    Not being believed
    Told 'not to do this to me'

    What am i meant to do?
    You asked for it
    You want honesty
    You verbally told me to share it
    And i did and i get that reaction
    Put me off ever feeling like this again
    What do i do?
    What shall i say?

    I've tried time and time again
    Get knocked back everytime
    A small part knocked out of me
    Can only take so many of those knocks
    They hurt emotionally
    Hurt my heart
    Leaving a little crack everytime
    Eventually it will crumble into pieces
    To never be rebuilt again

    The highs will make you fly, and the lows make you want to die

    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2006
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    why ya speechless???
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Wow!! that's beautiful...but sad at the sametime... :cry: :clap:
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Wouldn't say it was beautiful :blink: just some things going thru my head while upset about something, had to get it out :smile:
  6. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    I think it is beautiful. I could never write anything like that. I think thats what Ester was referring to in her post btw...She was just gobsmacked by the beauty of what you had written.