I just can't live anymore with these serious allegations made against me a year ago. Even though they were thrown out, I had a run in with the law regardless. I'll prospectively have to declare it to any prospective employers in future, especially with the career path I'm dreaming about. I've basically found myself stop dreaming because of it. I know this isn't a huge barrier, but at least I used to have dreams to keep me going. I'm seriously rethinking my life and whether all this study I will be doing is worth it for my future. My dreams might have been too big, but I know without this hindrance I could maybe have achieved them easier. I just wish I had all doors and opportunities open to me like most regular young people do, but I don't and this is difficult to accept. I feel like I have the talent and intellect, but this is just one big mole on myself. Not sure if I should look to other things like get a wife, work a menial job and produce kids or simply off myself. Which is easier?