ok so this is just me rambling - i had thee worst day at work today.
i was nice and early - id got up fine and was feeling good. last night i had a good talk with an ace friend and i was feeling good- confident and like i can deal with things.
things were ok - was just doing general cleaning and tidying. my boss went upstairs to sort out some application forms. the feeling between us all was good and we were having a good laugh.
a little time later my area manager arrived - which isnt unusual. he said hello and was perfectly fine and things were good - he went upstairs to see my boss.
a bit later - a colleague of mine had to go see the area manager for a price, when he came down he told me that he wanted to see me. i freaked out - the area manager wanted a word with me. instantly i thought i was getting sacked.
last week there was an assistant managers meeting at our head office - and my assistant manager went. he is ment to come back and talk us through things that has been said - but he didnt.
before i went upstairs to talk to them my assistant manager said to me - if he he asks you if i told you things from the meeting tell him i did and say it was ...and he began to tell me what i should have been told when he got back.
so i went upstairs - i was so so scared. shaking like mad, started to burn up. i was glad my boss was there - just him being there relaxed me. my area manager is lovely but he is a big boss so i got really nervous.
i sat down and he told me it wasnt anything to do with me, that i wasnt in trouble - then he asked me what my assisstant manager had told us about the meeting. so i told him that he didnt say anything - and that he had just told me a few things - incase i was asked. i was totally honest - i think my boss could tell i was being totally honest. the area manager did go on to say what a good job im doing and that im a hard worker which means so so much coming from him.
i went back down and my assisstant manager went up to talk to him. i was so scared he would know what i said and then be mad with me. he comes across as a violant man and i was pretty scared for my safety if im honest.
i dont know what was said but when he came down he was fine.
later on this afternoon, after the area manager left, my boss and assistant manager went upstairs to talk. they were gone about an hour and half - felt like forever. i dont know what was said but my assistant manager came down with tears in his eyes and said he was really sorry that as a result of his actions i was interrorgated like that. he went on to say how it was unfair. from the things he was saying i could tell he thought i had lied for him - to cover him - but i didnt. all this wassetting me off and i found it so so hard to hold back the tears. but i was cashing up and had to hold myself together.
when we were leaving there was just me and my boss on the shop floor and i asked him what he knew - if he knew that i didnt lie and he said he didnt. i dont know what to feel.
i kinda keep thinking i should have lied. my assistant manager will start with loads of sacrastic comments about how hes been treated. he just thinks i lied to cover him and i didnt. ive felt so ill today - and i dont know why. just writing all this has helped make things clear but - i dunno - just feel really numb about it all. i never actually cried - maybe i need to - i dont know.
sorry this is so long - me rambling on.
Did i do the right thing telling the truth? - part of me wishes i didnt but i have so much respect for my boss and couldnt lie to him. i just dont know - head is all over the place.
Take care everyone
clare xxx
i was nice and early - id got up fine and was feeling good. last night i had a good talk with an ace friend and i was feeling good- confident and like i can deal with things.
things were ok - was just doing general cleaning and tidying. my boss went upstairs to sort out some application forms. the feeling between us all was good and we were having a good laugh.
a little time later my area manager arrived - which isnt unusual. he said hello and was perfectly fine and things were good - he went upstairs to see my boss.
a bit later - a colleague of mine had to go see the area manager for a price, when he came down he told me that he wanted to see me. i freaked out - the area manager wanted a word with me. instantly i thought i was getting sacked.
last week there was an assistant managers meeting at our head office - and my assistant manager went. he is ment to come back and talk us through things that has been said - but he didnt.
before i went upstairs to talk to them my assistant manager said to me - if he he asks you if i told you things from the meeting tell him i did and say it was ...and he began to tell me what i should have been told when he got back.
so i went upstairs - i was so so scared. shaking like mad, started to burn up. i was glad my boss was there - just him being there relaxed me. my area manager is lovely but he is a big boss so i got really nervous.
i sat down and he told me it wasnt anything to do with me, that i wasnt in trouble - then he asked me what my assisstant manager had told us about the meeting. so i told him that he didnt say anything - and that he had just told me a few things - incase i was asked. i was totally honest - i think my boss could tell i was being totally honest. the area manager did go on to say what a good job im doing and that im a hard worker which means so so much coming from him.
i went back down and my assisstant manager went up to talk to him. i was so scared he would know what i said and then be mad with me. he comes across as a violant man and i was pretty scared for my safety if im honest.
i dont know what was said but when he came down he was fine.
later on this afternoon, after the area manager left, my boss and assistant manager went upstairs to talk. they were gone about an hour and half - felt like forever. i dont know what was said but my assistant manager came down with tears in his eyes and said he was really sorry that as a result of his actions i was interrorgated like that. he went on to say how it was unfair. from the things he was saying i could tell he thought i had lied for him - to cover him - but i didnt. all this wassetting me off and i found it so so hard to hold back the tears. but i was cashing up and had to hold myself together.
when we were leaving there was just me and my boss on the shop floor and i asked him what he knew - if he knew that i didnt lie and he said he didnt. i dont know what to feel.
i kinda keep thinking i should have lied. my assistant manager will start with loads of sacrastic comments about how hes been treated. he just thinks i lied to cover him and i didnt. ive felt so ill today - and i dont know why. just writing all this has helped make things clear but - i dunno - just feel really numb about it all. i never actually cried - maybe i need to - i dont know.
sorry this is so long - me rambling on.
Did i do the right thing telling the truth? - part of me wishes i didnt but i have so much respect for my boss and couldnt lie to him. i just dont know - head is all over the place.
Take care everyone
clare xxx
