One month and 5 days ago I watched my husband the love of my life kill himself in front of me. We were fighting and its my fault. He left me with our beautiful daughter and his younger brother we were raising. Now I am raising a teenager and a toddler all on my own and I am only 20 years old. I just want to be with him I want to join him I always told him I wouldn't be able to live without him. He is probably wondering why I have not followed him yet. Everything he did was for our family he was a great dad and brother and husband. He was always smiling and laughing. I am thr one who brought out his angry side if we weren't together he would still be here for his daughter and brother. He provided for us so I am here trying to put our life back together all on my own. Its not fair. My daughter misses her dad and constantly asks about him and heaven. I don't know how to raise a teen age boy on my own. I just want to be with him. This can't be my life. . .