My husband committed suicide in front of me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Widowed at 20, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. Widowed at 20

    Widowed at 20 New Member

    One month and 5 days ago I watched my husband the love of my life kill himself in front of me. We were fighting and its my fault. He left me with our beautiful daughter and his younger brother we were raising. Now I am raising a teenager and a toddler all on my own and I am only 20 years old. I just want to be with him I want to join him I always told him I wouldn't be able to live without him. He is probably wondering why I have not followed him yet. Everything he did was for our family he was a great dad and brother and husband. He was always smiling and laughing. I am thr one who brought out his angry side if we weren't together he would still be here for his daughter and brother. He provided for us so I am here trying to put our life back together all on my own. Its not fair. My daughter misses her dad and constantly asks about him and heaven. I don't know how to raise a teen age boy on my own. I just want to be with him. This can't be my life. . .
     
  2. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hi Widowed, I'm so very sorry this happened, that's a traumatic event for you and your family. I hope you are able to get support from other family members and maybe you'd consider some grief counselling to help you work through this.
    More than ever your daughter and his younger brother are going to need you. I know it's hard to stay strong when your own pain is overwhelming, but please try and hang in there. I'm glad you came to this forum, posting here may help you get some of your feelings out and we will support you all we can. I do encourage you to seek help in counselling for the grief and guilt you feel, it may help you to resolve some things. Take care and be gentle with yourself as you work through this.
    Brian
     
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  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I'm so very sorry this happened. Know we are here. Hugs - Are you seeing anyone professional to help you through this difficult time?
     
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hugs. I am sorry for your loss.
     
  5. Widowed at 20

    Widowed at 20 New Member

    I have not started seeing anybody professionally yet I know I need to I just feel like they won't understand what I am going through.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry for your loss and for what you are going through. Just know you don't have to go through this alone *hugs*
     
  7. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    They should be able to help. They been trained. Hugs We are always here for you, always. Don't give up.