Greetings.
My name is Stephanie, I'm 16 years old and currently living in Australia.*
Here's a basic outline of my life (I wish to not be discriminated against based on my sexuality, race, religious views, etc):
I was born to Christian parents in Australia nearly 17 years ago. As a child, I attended a catholic/christian school, which I hated because I had grown up very socially isolated and I was not able to make a friend. People viewed me as a 'waste of good food'. While there, I was shunned upon, neglected, but never physically abused. In Year 5, I had gained a pattern of self loathing and negative thinking. I was questioning my sexuality, as I had always been a crossdresser and I had always been attracted to the same sex. I came to the conclusion that I was a homosexual. Being a generally open person, I was very open about my sexuality. This lead to people making fun of me for being homosexual. As this continued, I gained a hatred for humanity and practically life. I hated myself, and my existance. This lead to my Misanthropy. In Year 7, my depression worsened, and my parents took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with Major Depression.*
Now, 4 years later, nothing has changed, and I am contemplating suicide. I am currently taking no medication for my depression, insomnia or social anxiety, due to an occurrence a few months ago where I (I'm not sure if it was accidental or not. I was under the effects of many drugs at the time and had limited control of my actions) xxxxx*
I have no siblings, no cousins, no pets and no uncles or grandfathers. I have never had a bestfriend, or even somebody I could talk to for fun once a week.
I've never been in a relationship, nor do I really want to be in one, which is why I consider myself currently a Asexual/Homosexual. Apart from that, I am a transgender and a dedicated Athiest.*
I often hallucinate because of my depression and lack of sleep (I'm currently suffering from Insomnia)*and the things I see can sometimes really scare me.
I am afraid of spiders, to the point of me having a panic attack if one comes within 2-3 metres of my presence. I am also afraid of looking at myself in the mirror, as all I see is a pathetic, weak excuse for a human.
I plan on dropping out of school on October 21st, the day I turn 17 and can legally leave school. My father is a painter and carpenter who runs his own business; I plan on joining him.
But right now, I'm tired of living. Every day, I have to goto school and recieve ridicule where ever I go. On weekends, I sit in my bedroom, alone, in the dark, playing on my Xbox.
I hate humanity and what it has done to me and my life. I am also a sado-masochist, which stems from my Misanthropy.
Nevertheless, I hope I can get some help here and get to know some of you really well.
Thanks in advance.
My name is Stephanie, I'm 16 years old and currently living in Australia.*
Here's a basic outline of my life (I wish to not be discriminated against based on my sexuality, race, religious views, etc):
I was born to Christian parents in Australia nearly 17 years ago. As a child, I attended a catholic/christian school, which I hated because I had grown up very socially isolated and I was not able to make a friend. People viewed me as a 'waste of good food'. While there, I was shunned upon, neglected, but never physically abused. In Year 5, I had gained a pattern of self loathing and negative thinking. I was questioning my sexuality, as I had always been a crossdresser and I had always been attracted to the same sex. I came to the conclusion that I was a homosexual. Being a generally open person, I was very open about my sexuality. This lead to people making fun of me for being homosexual. As this continued, I gained a hatred for humanity and practically life. I hated myself, and my existance. This lead to my Misanthropy. In Year 7, my depression worsened, and my parents took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with Major Depression.*
Now, 4 years later, nothing has changed, and I am contemplating suicide. I am currently taking no medication for my depression, insomnia or social anxiety, due to an occurrence a few months ago where I (I'm not sure if it was accidental or not. I was under the effects of many drugs at the time and had limited control of my actions) xxxxx*
I have no siblings, no cousins, no pets and no uncles or grandfathers. I have never had a bestfriend, or even somebody I could talk to for fun once a week.
I've never been in a relationship, nor do I really want to be in one, which is why I consider myself currently a Asexual/Homosexual. Apart from that, I am a transgender and a dedicated Athiest.*
I often hallucinate because of my depression and lack of sleep (I'm currently suffering from Insomnia)*and the things I see can sometimes really scare me.
I am afraid of spiders, to the point of me having a panic attack if one comes within 2-3 metres of my presence. I am also afraid of looking at myself in the mirror, as all I see is a pathetic, weak excuse for a human.
I plan on dropping out of school on October 21st, the day I turn 17 and can legally leave school. My father is a painter and carpenter who runs his own business; I plan on joining him.
But right now, I'm tired of living. Every day, I have to goto school and recieve ridicule where ever I go. On weekends, I sit in my bedroom, alone, in the dark, playing on my Xbox.
I hate humanity and what it has done to me and my life. I am also a sado-masochist, which stems from my Misanthropy.
Nevertheless, I hope I can get some help here and get to know some of you really well.
Thanks in advance.
