Yeah. I dont even know what to say here. I've been drinking more lately. Not during the weekdays, I still have at least THAT bit of strength to keep myself from getting drunk during work nights, cos I can't afford losing my job. I've got two weeks of holidays coming up in two weeks though, and I'm afraid I'm gonna totally lose control then. I am gonna hit Amsterdam a few times, those are my plans, and if I have to I'll go there by myself. Though I'd rather go with someone and get shitfaced together. I wish I could go there with *. I miss her. A lot. Bah, I'm so not making my mother proud the way i'm being lately. I'm really aggressive, to the point of violence even. I actually kicked Mads the other day. And that says a lot. Everyone who knows me, knows how bad it is when I even do that. i've never EVER done that since I have her and she's my baby. but I kicked her. And it wasn't a gentle kick. She actually kinda flew to the other side of the hallway :sad: Of course I felt even more shit after wards, so I hit the wall. And now my bones in my hand hurt. Though I think that's more because of the cold. I hope it is. Or maybe I don't. I don't know. Oh and I guess my mother would be even more proud of me (not!), for burning myself for the first time in.. er.. over 6 months I guess. Oh yes I'm on such a good roll. I feel like 2007 all over again. Like.. The period between May and July. When I went crazy. Argh whatever. Fuck this. I'm so angry at everything, it hurts.