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My Last Day Here or Anywhere

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Godsdrummer, Jun 29, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    Well today's the day.

    Today I am going to find out how much it is going to cost to get my repairs done on my car.

    I believe it is the front brakes but the brake pedal isnt mushy. However evertime I stop I can feel the rotors. And....now there has been a rattling noise coming from underneath whenever I go over a bump. And....there is a random squeaking noise.

    I am pretty sure that this is all brake related, however...because my pedal doesnt feel mushy, I don't know.

    And...what I do know is that if the job is going to be over $500...I won;t be able to afford it. Or...if it is $500.00 or less and the mechanic won't work with me on a post dated check, then it's over.

    Hey it's ok guys. People die everyday. Heck....lately there has been a rash of deaths. Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson and even that Billy May Hayes dude.

    And....bonus, I will get to drink heavily tonight before I do the deed.

    At least I will be with my best friend.
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Okay I am exhausted are you saying you are going to off yourself? WTF?

    What is up?
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest


    If I can't get my car repaired, then I would rather be dead than homeless.

    the funny thing is, I am not to upset about it. I feel rather at peace knowing that one way or another things are going to be resolved.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter


    I just replied to your other thread in the coffee house.

    Is it possible to leave the repairs a while..save up for them? and use other types of transport in the meantime?

    You shouldn't drink so much hun,it will make you more depressed :hug:

    If you are going through hell keep going. W.C
  5. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    Hi hun please don't do this! :hug: just talk to us
    i'm sorry that things don't seem worth it right now but they are! life is worth it
    please just stay and talk to us
    if you want to PM me any time, you can okay! :smile: you matter to us! :heart: thinking of you
    triggs xx
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    The car repair can't be put off any longer. And I have a different means of transport for just one day, the day the car is repaired. My best friend and boss at my part time job has offered to let me use one of his cars during the day of repair.
  7. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    Hmm. If it's more than $500 couldn't you get a loan to get it sorted. If you have a boss maybe he'd give you a loan on your wages? I know it doesn't always take much to tip us over the edge but to kill yourself cos of a car does seem a tad... over the top? Insofar as it's fixable... not trying to be insulting.
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    It's ok....just my situational depression;

    Well I called the car mechanic. Just coming off my morning break, and if it's just brakes and rotors then we are looking at $300.00. Worst case wont be over $500.00

    Car is being dropped off Tuesday night and it will be repaired on Wednesday.

    Damn...once again I can feel the weight of the world being lifted off of my poor tired shoulders.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I just had my brakes and rotors repaired (sounded exactly like you described) and it was $213.67. You know, your car is not worth your life. I hope you come to the realization that your value is much more than that. Keep on keepin' on Bill. :hug:
  10. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    It's hard sometimes because somedays it seems like my car is my life.

    It would be so much easier if I could find work closer to home.

    But....I am getting over this morning's issues.
  11. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    I'm glad it seems like it's going to be ok. I too find that the smallest little setbacks feel devestating so I do have some idea of where you were coming from this morning (and how annoying people who try to come up with solutions can seem lol). Please just try to remember to use us as a resource when these things happen and always put it off for at least a day cos you just never know, the storm may pass.
  12. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    I get annoyed by little things like this sometimes. Just too tired to make all these stupid hurdles in life sometimes.
  13. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

  14. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    But as I said in those words...all I want is for my pain to end. And I am having a lot of pain today.
  15. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Bill, I know how important your car is to you, but please...not over a car issue. I bet you could find someone to do it for you and take a down payment and let you pay it off. Everyone needs work now. Talk to them. Also, don't you have an good transit system there?
  16. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    The car is getting fixed. My physical health is what is in play now.

    And nope...no publix transporation from my town to my work town.
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